August 24, 2006

Even I can’t stay home drinking and crying for ever..so I went back to work...at Payless Cashways Lumber Co..I started out as assistant manager to the paint dept..but adventually became manager.It was a match made in heaven…I was welcomed with open arms by all my vendors that I knew from Jones-Blair and my first year there I got a framed cirtificate for having a dept that made a million bucks in sales…The paint dept had never made that much in sales before and I was very proud of myself and proud of the raise I got too..I was still drinking, but with a job with the responsiblities I had I curtailed it some…I had worked out a deal with them that I would work all days and any Saturday, but no nights and no Sundays as I was not going to leave MJ alone to her own devices or have to depend on her brothers to keep an eye on her..I was the only person in the store that didn’t have to work Sundays..(remember that part) and some campers were not all that happy about it. I lost 2 good friends that year, one to the same kind of cancer that Daddy had..His name was “Tennis Shoe”…I don’t have a clue…but he worked at the bar I used to hang out at in West and when I would get up the next morning after he had worked I would find ashtrays, cigarette butts, bar rags, empty cans of beer, coasters,etc in my purse..I always carried a huge purse and he would toss shit in there just to fuck with me..I adored him..he was sweet, funny and a really good friend..then my best friend at the time died..Agnes…the Agnes of’I don’t like it when people shit on me..but it really pisses me off when they use my hair to wipe their ass”…Agnes…she was the mother of Mike the snake handler and Inky and Pee-Wee..she was one of a kind…she always called me baby and knew that going to the hospital after Daddy died was very hard on me..so she wouldn’t allow anyone to tell me she was sick and in the hospital…I really miss those two..they were special people.
My trips to West were tapering down..R. and I were pretty much o
ver with, except for the occasional mercy fuck.More mercy on my part than his..he got more ass than a toilet seat..So..things were starting to even out…kinda…If I could just keep my damn sons from stealing my Jeep and taking it and Bill to the lake..When I finally busted them they wanted to know how I found them out…said ‘Bill told me’….
In the
news?…Ma Bell broke up with Ma Bell..The U.S. and Vatican exchange diplomats after 116-year hiatus..Wonder what happened 116 years ago that caused that breach and what happened in ’84 to change it again?..hmmmmm
ent Reagan orders U.S.Marines withdrawn from Beirut international peacekeeping force. Yuri V. Andropov dies at age 69;Konstantian U. Chernenko 72,named Soviet Union leader..Italy and Vatican agree to end Roman Catholicism as State Religion…another hmmmmm
n ends U.S. role in Beirut by relieving sixth fleet from peacekeeping force.Congress rebukes President Reagan on use of federal funds for mining Nicaraguan harbor..(bad Reagan…bad Reagan….hey…has he mentioned the word aids yet?...fuck no)Soviet Union withdraws from summer olympic games in U.S. and other bloc nations follow..(we kicked ass that year)Walter F.Mondale and Geraldine A. Ferraro are the Democratic hopefuls…Reagan and Forest Gump’s Daddy are renominated..they adventually won by a landslide, 59%.fuckity fuck fuck fuck…
s prime minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated by her 2 Sikh bodyguards. 1,000 are killed in Anti-Sikh riots;Ravi her son succeeded her..
The music is a little better but still nothing
to write home about…like ‘Against all odds’,by Phill Collins,’An Innocent Man’by Billy Joel,’All thrught the night,Time after time,She Bop, and Girls Just Want to Have Fun’by Cyndi Lauper..who was and still is one of my very favorites…Time after Time is killer….’Automatic’by Pointer Sisters,’Better Be Good To Me’by Tina Turner,’Big city nights’by The Scorpions,’Borderline,Like a Virgin and Lucky Star’by Madonna,’Blue Jean’by David Bowie,’Careless Whispers’by Wham,’Caribbean Queen’by Billy Ocean,’Cherry on Baby’by UB40,’Cover me and Dancing in the Dark’by Bruce Springsteen,’Crazy’by Kenny Rogers,’Cruel summer’by Bananarama,’Dance Hall Days’by Wang Chung’,’Doctor Doctor, and Hold me now’by Thompson Twins’,’Drive’by the Cars,’Footloose’by Kenny Loggins,’Ghostbusters’by Ray Parker,jr.,’Hammer to fall,I want to break free,It’s a hard life,and Radio GAGA’by Queen.’Heaven’s on fire’by KISS,’Here comes the rain again’by Eurythmics,’High as Emotion’by Chris De Burgh,’I scare myself’by Thomas Dolby,’One love/people get ready’by Bob Marley and the Wailers,’No more lonely nights’by Paul McCartney,’One night in Bangkok’,by Murray Head,’Missing you’by John Waits,’Original Sin’by INIX,’Lights out’by Peter Wolf,’Locomotion’by OMD,’Lets go crazy and Purple Rain’by Prince,’Jump and Panama’by Van Halen,’Jokerman’by Bob Dylan,’It’s a miracle,Miss me blind,Mistake#3 and the War Song‘by Culture Club,’I want to know what love is’by Foreigner and oooohhhhoooohh ‘The heart of Rock and Roll,I wanna new drug and If this is it’by Huey Lewis and the News..who I always refered to as Huey Dewey and Louie and the gang..
‘People are people’by Depeche Mode,’Pride(in the name of love)by U2,’Torture’by Michael Jackson,’Round and Round’by Ratt,’Run to you’by Byran Adams,’Self Control,Ti Amo, and the Lucky One’by Laura Branigan,’Seven Seas,’by Echo and the Bunnymen,’The longest time’by Billy Joel,’Smooth Operator’by Sade,’So tired’by Ozzy,’Somebody’s watching me’by Rockwell,’Some guys have all the luck’by Rod Stewart,’The Power of love and Two Tribes’by Frankie Goes To Hollywood,’The Reflex and the Wild Boys’by Duran Duran,’Wake me up before you go go’by Wham,’We Belong’by Pat Benetar,’We Rock’by Dio,’What’s love got to do with it’by Tina Turner,’Lets go crazy and When doves cry’by Prince,’You might thing’by Cars,’Your love is king’by Sade,’Luffballons’by Nena,’I feel for you’by Chaka Kahn,’I just called to say I love you’by Stevie Wonder,’Let’s hear it for the boys’by Denise Williams,’Dancing in the Dark’by Bruce Springsteen,’She was hot’by the Rolling Stones,’Shout’by Tears for Fears and last but not least TV Dinners and Legs’by ZZ Top…..There are two songs here that remind me of a semi funny story..when I worked at Payless I kept having trouble with one of the ding bats in the office..she cost me more time and the store more money then anyone there…after endless days of fixing her fuckups and running out of patience I laid into her and tore her a new one…which brought on a round of why’s, I’m sorry etc…finally she said ‘I just don’t think you like me’.....(ya think?) why don’t you like me..(cause your fucking stupid…stupid..) running all the things I couldn’t say through my head..I finally said..’What’s your favorite song?’ and she thought for a minute and said ‘I just called to say I love you’by S
tevie Wonder….I said..’See, that’s our problem ..my favorite song is’What’s Love Got To Do With It’by Tina Turner..
and walked off.
music had some good songs too:’To all the girls I’ve loved before’by Willie and Julio Iglesias,’That’s the Way Love Goes’by Merle Haggard,’The Yellow Rose'(theme from the tv show The Yellow Rose)…which was soooo good, and they jerked off the air…by Johnny Lee and Lane Brody,’Mama He’s Crazy and Why Not Me’by The Judds and ‘City of New Orleans’by Willie Nelson…and Ernest Tubb died on Sept.6th…sad day in country..The Texas Trubador……
so another year goes slip sliding away….



August 22, 2006

I could drink…I started out drinking when I went to work as a waitress at the Palm Gardens..eveyone laughed at me as I would drink a rum and coke in a tall sling glass with a tall sling glass full of coke as a back….if I had two someone had to drive me home…that was at the beginning..in 3 months I could drink and dance all night long with the best of them…by 1983 I was a world class drunk…and getting better…or worse as the case may be..I would still go to West and drink but not as often as I found it much easier just to keep the booze in the house and stay there and drink…the first time I have ever kept more than a six pack of beer in the house..I bought bottles of wine, liters of rum,whiskey,tequilla,vodka,and cases of beer as apposed to a six-pack..I bought from the liquor store instead of the convience store..I had upped the ante…the more I thought about my Daddy, the more I cried..the more I cried ..the more I drank…ugly thing a vicious circle..To top it off I had gotten fired …first time since I got fired for being a’nigger lover’when i was 20 years old(not my words, my bosses words)…I had developed an attitude after Daddy died, plus I was hung over every morning..but telling a dead beat customer that if he would pay Wiggley the money he owed I might be a little faster on his deliveries…well, he complained to Dallas headquarters and they came down and fired me…poor Wiggley..he was in tears and couldn’t look me in the face…it wasn’t his fault and I knew it..he wouldn’t have done it which is why they brought the guy down from Dallas…and as much as I hated it..I really didn’t give a fuck..(about 5 years later the guy that got me fired saw me in a store and don’t know WHAT he was thinking but he came up to me while I was in line and said.”hi, how are you doing.nice to see you..etc.” I looked at him …smiled real big and said….”hey…..FUCK YOU COCKSUCKER”…and turned my back on him…ahh yes…felt guuuud….
Anyhow…in one of my trips to Daddy’s he had signed over life
insurance to me and the kids…boy was irmatheworm pissed.…hahahahah…and she sold Daddy’s camper trailor and gave me my half, plus the SS I got every month..I was ok…but it just gave me all that free time to drink..no responsiblity of getting up every morning and going to work…could drink all night long and sleep all day..or what ever I wanted to do…Which was drink all day and all night and sleep very little..my link to shore was severed..The world at large wasn’t much better…The second space shuttle Challenger made a successful maiden voyage, which included the first U.S. space walk in 9 years.Sally K. Ride,32 was the first U.S. woman astronaut in space as crew memeber aboard space shuttle Challenger. Supreme Court declare many local abortions restrictions unconstitutional.The United States admits shielding former nazi gestapo chief Klaus Barbie,69, the ‘butcher of Lyon Lyon’, wanted in France for war crimes.Nice going you guys…no wonder the French hate us.South Korean Boeing 747 jetliner bound for Seoul apparently strays into Soviet airspace and is shot down by a Soviet SU-15 fighter after it had tracked the airline for 2 hours:all 269 aboard are killed, including 61 americans.Terrorist explosion kills 237 U.S. Marines in Beirut..U.S. and Caribbean invade Grenada. Don’t worry..the music isn‘t much better..if you want to get technical..the music was a good enough reason to drive anybody to drink…not that I needed an excuse..but with songs like’Freak-a-zoid’by Midnight Star it didn’t helped.
was also..’Flashdance’by Irene Cara,’Foolin”by Def Leppard and also ‘Photograph’.’Gimme all your loving’by ZZ Top,’Give it up’by K.C. and the Sunshine Band,’Holiday’by Madonna,’How am I supposed to live without you’by Laura Branigan,’Is there something I should know’by Duran Duran,’Iam’by Twisted Sister,’I cannot believe it’s true, I don’t care anymore and It don’t matter to me’by Phil Collins,‘I don’t remember’by Peter Gabriel,’I guess that’s why they call it the blues’by Elton John,’Karma Chameleon and I’ll tumble for ya”by Culture Club,’In the neighborhood’by Tom Waits,’I.O.U.’by Freeze,’Irrestible Bitch and Little Red Corvette’by Prince.’It’s raining men’by the Weather Girls,’Jump’by the Pointer Sisters,’Keep Feeling’by The Human League,’Kiss the Bride’by Elton John,’Let’s Dance and Modern Love by David Bowie,’Let’s Stay Together’by Tina Turner,’Lick it up’by KISS,’Love is a battlefield’by Pat Benetar,’Love is Strange and Right By Your side’by Eurthmics(I really did like them and Annie Lennox is the best).’Love on your side’by the Thompson Twins,’Mama’by Genesis,’Many rivers to cross and Red Red Wine’by UB40,’Marguirita Time’by Status Quo,’New Years Day’by U2,’One on one’by Hall and Oates,’Owner fo a broken heart’by Yes,’Radio free Europe’by R.E.M.’Pipes of peace’by Paul McCartney,’Na Na hey hey,Kiss him goodbye’by Bananarama,’Nasty Girl’by Vanity 6,and this song for some reason I loved….’Relax’by Frankie Goes To Hollywood…I would get drunk and watch MTV…don’t ask me why…
‘Say Say Say
‘by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney,’Screaming for Vengence’by Judas Priest,’Seperate ways’by Journey,’Sex’by Berlin,’Sharp Dressed Man’by ZZ Top,’She works hard for her money’by Donna Summers,’Solitaire’by Laura Branigan,’Soul inside’by Soft Cell,’Stand back’by Stevie Nicks,’Sweet dreams are made of this’by The Eurythmics, ‘Synchronicity 2’by the Police,’Tell her about it’by Billy Joel,’Tender is the night’by Jackson Browne,’That’s all’by Genesis,’The Celtic Soul Brothers’by Dexy’s Midnight Runners,’The Cutter’by Echo and the Bunnymen,’The love cats and the Walk’by The Cure,’The Safety Dance‘by Men at Work(I loved Men at Work),’They Don’t Know’by Tracey Ullman,’The Shape Your In’,by Eric Clapton,’The Charming man’by The Smiths,’This is the day’by THE THE,’Thriller’by Michael Jackson,’Thunder and Lightning’by Thin Lizzy,’You Can’t hurry love’by Phil Collins,’Total Eclipse of the heart’by Bonnie Tyler,’True Love Ways’by Cliff Richards,’Under Attack’by ABBA,’Undercover of the night’by The Stones,’Vintage 77’by Heartbreakers,’A Volar’by Menudo,’Who’s that girl’by Eurythmics and ‘Wings of a Dove’by Madness. ohhh now we’re getting good…’1999’by Prince,’Always something there to remind me’by Nake Eye,’Baby come to me’by Patti Austin and James Ingram,’Baby Jane’by Rod Stewart,’Bad Boys’by Wham,’Bark at the moon’by Ozzie,’Beat it and Billy Jean’by Michael Jackson,’Big Log’by Robert Plant,’Bloodstone,’by Judas Priest,’Blue world’by Moody Blues,’Bop Girl’by Pat Wilson,’Buffalo Soldiers’by Bob Marley and the Wailers,’Burning down the house’by Talking Heads,‘Calling your name’by Marilyn,’Candy Girl’by New Edition,’Change’by Tears for Fears,’China Girl’by David Bowie,’Chinese Cafe’by Joni Mitchell,’Every day I write the book’by Elvis Costello,’Everything counts’by Depeche Mode,’Count Down and New world man’by Rush,’Dirty Laundry’by Don Henley,’Don’t Cry’by Asia,’Don’t let him steal your heart away’by Phil Collins,’Down Under’by Men At Work,’Electric Avenue’by Eddy Grant and ‘Every Breath You Take’by The Police…

Jesus..no wonder I drank…
But when I was tooling around in my little blue jeep I generally listened to ‘Swinging’by John Anderson,’Jose Cuervo’by Shelby West,’Lucille(you won’t do your daddy’s will) by ole Waylon,’Pancho and Left’by Willie and Merle,’What am I doing the rest of my life’by Merle and’Leave them boys alone’by Hank,Ernest Tubb and Waylon…
I was
a sad, lonely,weepy drunk…don’t get much worse than that…But…I had company now…one month to the day after my Daddy was buried..MJ’s dog Redrum(yes that Redrum.) gave birth to the bigget fattest cutest little pup…he was part chow part white German Shepard….I rescued him from under the house…cleaned him up…(covered with shit) and he became the best friend I have ever had..I named him Bill after my Daddy..I stayed up all the time so I could potty train him…he slept with me…He was my dog..but he loved everyone..also slept with the boys and with MJ…He loved to hide under the jeep and jump our barking and scare the shit out of the mailman, and delivery guys..He was my partner in crime..he figured out that byebye..meant I was leaving and would run jump in the jeep..I took him everywhere with me.I would go to Dairy Queen for a burger and ice cream cone and him a hot dog..the girl would say do you want onions on the hot dog..and I would say’Bill…you want onions?’ and he would nod his head up and down…they loved it…he was smarter than all three of my x-husbands put together..Next to Daddy………….I miss Bill the most….

…………..OKIE MEETS TEXAN…………..

August 21, 2006

Don’t know if you got to see the pictures Sooner took while he was vising West, Texas…if not here they are…Me and ole Sooner at Czech Stop….Me giving my family salute..Henrietta at the Library, The Scott Podseknik honors posted on one of our water tanks behind the library…(the big one)..and the (as Sooner calles her..the bitch in the box..)encased lady wearing a typical Czech costume and of courses some of the youth I try and corrupt on a daily basis…ain’t they cute…See, I didn’t make any of this up…Sooner says he has more pictures and I know that I do and will try and get them developed this month..and will post them as soon as I can…
Have to tell you when I saw Jamie and she and I were discussing her not so great behavior she said something that I thought needed attending to and we were in the truck and I said wait just a minute I need to pull over and she started laughing and said’No, no don’t bip me.’….she always knows when I think she deserves a bipping…We are still looking for Rocky..no luck so far…I put up flyers and this is what it says..
Hope someone finds him…lil’asshole…


August 19, 2006

Sorry it took me so long…I also wanted to put in two more little bits on me and Daddy…to show our weird sense of humor even in the face of death..The combination of chemo and radiation caused Daddy to have some severe gas…the kind of gas that usually gets blamed on the dog..but there was no dog in the hospital so I had to come up with something as this was a source of embarrassment for Daddy…I went to some novelty shop in Waco and found a frog that if you squeezed it the tongue came out and it made a farting noise…perfect..so when I handed it to Daddy with no explanation(didn’t want to make it obvious what I was giving it to him for)he squeezed it and it made the farting noise…he did this about 3-4 times and then you could see the light bulb going off in his head…and from then on when he was going to emit gas he would squeese the frog and make some comment on that ‘damn farting frog’and ‘Damn that frogs farts sure do stink’…The other thing that really got to Daddy was everyone asking him how he felt, or how are you doing, or ‘how are we doing today S/gt Roycroft..’lordy it pissed him off…he figured it was none of their damn business.ha..so I went back to the novelty shop in Waco and searched around and found the (for me anyhow) perfect little doo dad….when I gave it to him…I made sure we were alone..I told him Daddy I got this for you but if you don’t want to use it I will understand..but thought it might come in handy the next time some one asked about your health…and then handed it to him…this time he burst out laughing and said..‘It’s just what the dr. ordered’….and then a nurse came in and said’How are we doing today S/Gt. Roycroft?‘ and Daddy showed her his new toy:which was a hand about 8 inches tall and it was giving the finger…She cracked up and after that anyone said or did anything that pissed him off Daddy would just point at the hand…
The Br
itish overcame the Argentinians in the Falkland war.Israeli’s invaded Lebanon(yes their invasion this month was not the first time)in an attack on the P.L.O.
W. Hinkley,Jr. was found not guilt by reason of insanity in the shooting of President Reagan.Alexander M. Haig.Jr., resigned as Secretary of State(resulting from his attempt to hijack the white house when Raegan was in hospital).Princess Grace of Monoco dies of injuries when her car plunged off a mountain road;her daughter Stephanie,17 suffered serious injuries from the crash.Lebanese Christian Phalangests kill hundreds of poeple in two Palestinian refugg camps in West Beirut.Leonid Brezhnev, Soviet leader dies at age 76.Yuri V. Andropov,68, chosen as sccessor.
Barney B
. Clark,61 was first to receive artifical heart implant at University of Utah Medical Center in Salt Lake City..………………….he died anyhow....but nice try.
1982 continues to reek with music..”Being Boiled, Don’t you wa
nt me, and Mirrorman’by Human League,’Oh Julie’by Shakin’Stevens,’the Model and Complete Love’by Kraft Work,’Town called Malice’by the Jam,’The lion sleeps tonight’by Tight Fit,’Seven Tears’by Goomba Dance Band,’My camera never lies’by Bucks Fizz,’Ebony and Ivory’by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder,’A little peace’by Nicole, ‘House of fun’by Madness,’Goody Two Shoes’by Adam Ant,’I’ve never been to me’by Charlene,’Happy Talk[,byCaptain Senseible,’Fame’by Irene Cara,’Centerfold’by J. Geiles Band,’I love rock and roll’by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts,’Chariots of Fire’bySurvivor,’Abracadabra’by Steve Miller Band,’Hard to say I’m sorry’by Chicago,’Jack and Diane’by John Cougar,’Do you really want to hurt me’by Culture Club,’I don’t wanna dance’by Eddy Grant,’Beat Surrender’by the Jam,’Come on Eileen’by Dexy’s Midnight Runner,‘Pass the Dutchie’by MusicalYouth,’Save your love’by Renee and Renalto,’Don’t stop believing’by Journey,’Maneater’by Hall and Oates,’Mickey’by Toni Basil,’Truly’by Lionel Ritchie,’Up where we belong’by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warner,’65 Love Affair’by Paul Davis,’Ain’t no pleasing you’by Chas and Dave,’Blue-eyed’by Elton John,’Body and Soul’by Jo Kennedy, ‘Body Language’by Queen,The Day before you came’by ABBA,’Don’t go’by yazoo,’Don’t talk to strangers’by Rick Springfield,’Easier said than done’by Shakatak.(who are these people and what the fuck is this music??????????)
‘Eye in the sky’by Alan Parsons Proj
ect,’Fantastic Day’by Haircut 100,’Freeze Frame’,by J.Geiles Band,’Ghosts’by Japan,’One perfect day’by Little Theras,’Girls on film’by Duran Duran,’Gloria’by Laura Branigan,’Golden Brown’by the Stranglers,’Great southern land and Hey little girl’by Icehouse,’Gypsy and Hold me by Fleetwood Mac,’Harden my heart’by Quarterflash,’Head over heels’by ABBA,’Heart attack’by Olivia Newton-John,’Here is the news and Ticket to the Moon’by ELO,’Hurt so good’by John Cougar,‘I can make you feel good’by Shalamar,’I know what boys like’by Waitresses,’Iron Fist’by Motorhead,’It’s raining again’,by Supertramp,’Lets get it up’by AC/DC,’Listen’by Stiff Little Fingers,’Love my way’by Psychedelic Furs,’Maid of Orleans’by OMD,’the message’by Grand Master Flash,’the number of the beast’by Iron Maiden,’Old Town’by Phil Lynott,’We got the beat and Vacaation’by the Go Go’s,’Valley Girl’by Frank Zappa,‘Still they ride and Open arms’by Journey,’Pressure’by Billy Joel,’Hungry like the Wolf and Rio’by Duran Duran,’Since you’re gone’by The Cars,’Spread a little happiness’by Sting,(and who can forget this one.…)Sube a mi motora’by Menudo,’Theme from Hill Street Blues’by Mike Post and Larry Carlton,’Time’by Culture Club,’and ‘Trouble’by Lindsey Buckingham.wheee….is we jamming yet????
‘Waiting for a girl like you’by Foreigner,’White Boy’by Culture Club,’When the war is over’by Cold Chisel,’Why’,by Carley Simon,’Yellow Pearl’by Phil Lynott, ‘You can’t hurry love’by Phil Col
lins,’You don’t want me any more’by Steel Breeze, ‘You should hear how she talks about you’by Melissa Manchester,’You’ve got another thing coming’by Judas Priest,‘Young Guns’by Wham,and last but not least….’Young Turks’by Rod Stewart…
and for all you that were listening to country like I was…There was ‘Lord, I hope this day is good and Listen to the radio’by Don Williams(don was big in the 80’s)..’You’re the best break this old heart ever had’by E
d Bruce..who I loved…he played the sherrif on some tv western with James Garner…*sigh…
on my mind’by willie…’Just to satisfy you’by Willie and Waylon(a favorite of mine),’Yesterday’s wine’by Merle Haggard and George(no show) Jones,’I will always love you’by Dolly Parton,’Same ole Me’by George Jones,’Old Friends’by Willie, Ray Price,and Roger Miller,and one of my favorite songs by Waylon ‘Women do know how to carry on’…..
so other than the
fact that some great babies were born this year….it was a sad and lonely year for me..It was also the kickoff of a long bout of drinking..man..if you thought I drank before…..you ain’t seen nothing yet…..


August 18, 2006

Ah fuck!..This one’s gonna be a tough one…I was an only child…well, I had a 1/2 sister, but I was my Daddy’s only child…something that I used to tease him about…I told him if you believe in reincarnation, you must have been a bad bad boy in your other life to get stuck with me as your only child in this life…’cause you are surely being punished for some past deed…He never felt that way..I know at times he wanted to either kick my ass or pull his hair out..but I never saw that…The only thing I ever saw was a loving devoted Father who was not only 100% loyal and surportive of me, but of my children too..He was a good man..
On one of my trips down to San Antonio, Daddy told me they had g
iven him 6 months to live…he and I both refused to believe it…He took Chemo which pissed him off as it made beer taste shitty and he couldn’t enjoy his Silver Bullets…He took radiation which with the Chemo made his hair thin and fall out. So I took it upon myself to find all the cute, weird,funny and off the wall gimme-caps..He loved his Jones-Blair red one..as red is a big deal in our family..It has to do with hair color and goes back forever.I also got him one that said’Sex is a misdemenor.the more you miss…the meaner I get..’
I knew that no matter if it was 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 days..I wanted to spend every minute I could with Daddy..My work consisted of m-f 8-5pm…every other saturday..8-1pm…So every f
riday that I didn’t have to work on Sat. I left after I got off work,picked up the kids and drove to San Antonio..at first it was business as usual..we laughed joked, watched baseball..I always sat on the floor right at his feet and he kept his hand on my head..I jokenly refered to myself as Daddy’s Irish Setter…then they put him in the hospital and I would take the kids and we would stay at the hospital in his room..we slept on floor or I would send the kids to Daddy’s house and I would stay with him. The only good thing about all of this is toward the end he thought I was my mother..and with irmatheworm sitting on one side of the bed and me on the other, he would tell me how much he loved me and would call me Helen..ask me where Jackiesue was..and I would tell him I love you too Bill and Jackiesue’s going to be right back…I can’t tell you how much joy I got from the pissed off look on irmatheworm’s face…..If I had to work on Sat. Afternoon I would do the same thing.just left Saturday afternoon…The kids didn’t always go…Maryjo went to New Mexico with her grandparents..didn’t want her to see her Grandpa go down like he was..Thom who was Daddy’s favorite Grandson just could not watch his grandpa like he was..so he went to spend the summer with his asshole father because I couldn’t force him into staying and then watch his grandpa die…it was up to me…Dave went with me most of the time, but it was hard on him too…so it was mostly me..sometimes I couldn’t get out of store till late on Saturday and would leave early Sunday morning and spend the day and then drive back Sunday night and go to work the next day…the sicker he became, the more I drank…It was easy to keep it from Daddy as he had slipped quietly into a coma and toward the end I would drive down and just sit beside him and hold his hand and talk to him and read him books.Tell him what the scores were..lied and told him the Yankees were kicking ass and so were the Rangers…I turned him, changed his diapers, gave him baths and just told him how much I loved him and begging him please not to leave me alone..Finally I just took time out and spend everyday and night with him…one day the dr.said he was doing as good as he could and I should go home and get some rest..So I told him I was going to go home and would be back in a few days. and I loved him more than life….had to go make some money..My step sister Donna called me the next day and he had died in his sleep not to long after I had left…Think he did that on purpose..he and the dr’s..they didn’t want me to see him go…
Thom was in Oregon, Maryjo was in New Mexico and it was just me and David and all his brothers and sisters that were left…plus irmatheworms family…and all the people from the San Antonio Airport Tower…people that he had worked with and hadn’t seen in 15 years or so…it was a full house…When we were at the cemetary my aunt Leola and I were standing by his coffin and I started to laugh…and said.”Ok, Daddy, the game has gone on long enough…you can come out now…the jokes gone on too long…Come on Daddy get out of that damn coffin…It’s over with..get out of the fucking coffin…Daddy…it’s not funny anymore…get out..get out”…poor Leola, she nor anyone knew what to do with me..I had completey lost it..I think I truly believed that it was some sort of practical joke and any minute he would just pop up in the coffin and go for a drive with me in the jeep…
it didn’t happen…
1982 will be in 2 parts…don’t think I can go from here to “Freeze Frame”by J. Geiles Band without banging my head on the keyboard…..


August 16, 2006

Checked my mail today and surprise…surprise…I had a package from Va…from the cutest little strawberry blond’s mama.Buddha Girl sent me a care package (which is what I call packages from poeple that care about each other)…It came in a box with happy birthday all over it…so cute..there was a canning jar of peach perserves( I guess,just says peach and looks like jelly or perserves…I know it looks delicious)and lordy lordy…cherries…my favorite..I would mug a cowboy for a jar of cherries…and if this was not enough..a picture of the sweetest face you have ever seen in a little blue refrigerator magnet..which was a piece of art in itself.along with 2 other pictures of that sunshine boy…So while you all may see this sweet face on your computer..I get the joy of having him on my refrigerator and the cork board above my computer…so I have the pleasure of his face all over..going to put the 2 spares in frames and put them by my bed and on the tv…Finally …I have a grandson…and boy am I proud…also included was just the sweetest note from A…I don’t want this to get around..because I do have a reputation to uphold..but it made me cry….Tears of joy..but tears none the less…What is really amazing about this little hunk of burning love…is he could be my grandson..he has the same color hair as mojo had when she was a baby and if you check out my Daddy’s picture and sneak over to BuddhaGirl’s blog adn check out Bobzilla you will see a resemblence..So it was kismet..fate and the work of the Goddess…I have a grandson..nana nana boo boo….life is good….(PS..that picture of that sweet face is my screen saver…what a face)

WEST, TEXAS NEWS…the good, the bad and the ugly..
l start in the middle with the bad…the bad news is..the city of West has a outside watering ban..and it doesn’t look good..We had a major water line break on Walnut Street, which is my street…and I had no water for about 1/2 a day which really made it hot in the house as my a/c had no water going to it and was just blowing hot air..On top of that the #4 water well on Peach Street has been out of operation for about a month..The well might have dropped at the well site causing the pump to run without water and burn up.In addition to the pump,the cable, motor,and casings were damaged.They have been dropping cameras down there to see what is what..so far they don’t know and are in no hurry to just go out and buy a new pump if that is not what is wrong..as a new pump costs between $150,000 to $200,000. That is a lot of money for our little city…I see a price jump in our taxes..jeez, that sucks..
The good i
s really good …our 60th Annual Rodeo was a huge success.The parade was terrific..or so I was told..I forgot all about it and didn’t go..but I haven’t been since I used to drink but just remembering the time me and a bunch of friends got drunk and stole horses from in front of Strickly Country(cowboys were watering their whistles)and rode down the middle of the street after the parade drunker than Cooter Brown, holloring “Bring on them fucking injins”(sorry Nancy)..I think I had best avoid all Rodeo Parades..Other good news is the owners of Jerry’s Chicken Shake sold his building to Bush’s Chicken..which in Texas is a great franchise…I love Bush’s chicken…which I need like more fat on my ass…But the best part of it is..they sold Jerry’s but bought Sulak’s Cafe which has been closed for about 2 years.it is right down town, is a great building and will be great to have it open again..wonder what they will call it? I am very excited…will open in Sept..thinking about going and putting my application in for part time..I’m not sure my back and legs will handle it..but I am up for a try..Wish you could see the resturant..it has a bar that is over 100 years old…pretty cool…
Now the ugly…it’s really ugly…Do you remember me mentioning over a year ago about my best friend David’s girl frie
nd? They broke up because she wanted to get married and he’s not crazy? Well, about 5 years or so her oldest son was killed in a single truck accident(drinking was involved) and she was nearly devastated…her only son who is 24, was in a truck on car car crash(drunk) and killed a 35 year old mother of 3..Five, nine and fourteen…they were all with their mom and were all taken to hospital…Little one is not doing good at all..The arrested him for one charge of intoxication manslaughter, and 3 counts of intoxication assault..If the little girl dies it will change…He is being held on $600,000 bail…I don’t mean to be mean as I not only know his mother but him too…David’s girls are still very close to them…but I can’t find it in my heart to feel sorry for him…No more than I would have expected anyone to feel sorry for me if it had happened to me all those years ago when I drank and drove…Judas priest…how lucky I and other people on the roads were back then…David called me today and we talked and then I saw him up at the store and we discussed it at length..as we both were guilty of doing the same as the kid…Told him again..if you are in Waco and drunk…call me…I will come and get you..no problem…no worries…He has actually done it too..Phone call:’I’m drunk’….me…’I’m fat. Where are you?’…..So please……remember:PLEASE DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE.
No births this week, but a pair of twins are celebrating their
1st birthday..Kendall and Christian McMorrough had a Winnie The Pooh birthday party…Tanner Marak celebrated his 3rd year birthday..and Joseph Lednicky was 7.
Krystal Sparks married Michael McMahon at St. Martin’s in Tours.Besides Debbie F. we had 6 other deaths..bad when that many die and no new babies to replace them…
Fresh faces….ohhhh the fresh new kindergarten faces…one whole page of kindergarten classes..6 of them…Ok, I know I shouldn
‘t do this ..but to reinforce my statement about it being 1957 here…there are 104 kids…2 are black…11 hispanic(where exactly is Hispain)..The town is still mostly lily white Czech…there are less black kids here now than when my kids went to school here(26 years ago)..but almost triple the amount of Hispanic kids…We need a good influx of color here in West…I figure if the Czech’s keep inbreeding we really will be a town of Forest Gumps…there are about 15 major families here and they keep marrying each other..Thank the Goddess the kids are going off to school and meeting new fresh blood to marry into…ha.Which is why even though I am not related by blood to any of them..I am related by marriage to about 7 differet families…kin folk kin folk..everyone’s kin folk…
Jerry’s Chicken Shack’s squad took 2nd place at state tourney.The Texas Teen-age Softball Association girl’s coach pitch…what ever that is…anyhow they took 2nd…horay for them…
That’s all the news that makes the news for West…
In case any of you are interested, we have had over a week of weather of over 100…and 3 days in a row of 106…fiddle fuck..it’s hot…It will be like this till this coming Sat. where they are sweet talking us with the promise of rain..I want to go on record right here and now…Them fuckers lie..
I will believe it when I go out and wet stuff hits me in the face…until them…fuckme till it’s winter time..

…………..QUIZ FOR THE DAY…………..

August 16, 2006




August 14, 2006

Still working at Jones-Blair and me and ole Wiggley are still best buds..we had another guy that worked there named Ralph. Ralph was gay but was way in the closet..he was so far into the closet, I don’t think he knew he was gay.But he was fun to work with, I liked my job and was proud of all that I had learned and could do..I am still driving the 17 miles back and forth to West on the weekend to party. The more I think about it, the more I know that I have an angel looking after me..I never had a wreck, never got stopped and still think I am stupid for doing it.By this time I had tried to mend fences with MOJO’s grandparents as I truly believed she needed them in her life.My Daddy thought I was an idiot for doing so..but I felt I had to do what was right for her and not what I thought was bad for me..Now that she is 33 I wonder if I did the right thing…She is close to her Grandma(her Grandpa died 2 years ago)…and loves her very much..but all those years she had on one hand what I said happened to her Father and then the D’s version of what they had to think, to live with themselves…They lied to her about so many things…and she never found out the truth about most of it till 4-5 years ago…But they were and are, all she has of her Daddy, so she blindly over looks alot. I don’t think I have come out on the good end of any of this..all I can do is know the truth and live with it.To them..I am still the one that shot and killed their son..that sweet kind gentle boy.…yeah, right…
At the
end of the year Daddy called me and said they thought he had a stroke but he was better and had just retired from civil service..he was going to enjoy his retirement..he had worked hard all of his life…now all he was going to do was take his grandkids fishing, watch baseball and football on tv and just enjoy life..If only it had been like that.
The rest of the world wasn’t doing so well either..
Reagan took the oath as our 40th President…yeah, this just keeps getting better and better.Soon as he was sworn in they set the 52 American hostages free. They were there since 1979.Don’t know what kind of deal the Reagan administration made with them to get them set free, but think we are still paying the price for it..
President R
eagan was shot along with Presidental Secretary and two law-enforcement agents.Gee wonder how many people’s lives might have been saved from aids if he had not made it. Considering he was President for 8 years and never said the word...Thank Goddess for Elizabeth Taylor who started the first Aids Organization..
It was a
bad year for getting shot..Pope John Paul II was wounded by a gunman also.
Reagan nominates
the first woman to the Supreme Court, Sandra Day-O’Conner.
This is a
lso the year that aids was discovered and for 8 damn years the administration did jackshit..fuckers…
The music was a little better, but not much..They sure had some weierd ass songs..’Europa and the Pirate Twins’by Thomas Dolby,’Wild Colonial Boy’by Dr. Hook,’Planet Earth’by Duran Dur
an,’I Could be happy and Happy Birthday’by Altered Image,’Errol’by Australian Crawl,’This little girl’by Gary U.S. Bonds,’Night Games’ by Graham Bonnet,’Scary monsters and super creeps and Up the Hill Backward by David Bowie,’Sat in your lap’by Kate Bush,’Plan B Escape’by Fraeon,’Shake it up’ by the Cars,’How ’bout us’by Champaign,’The Magnificant seven and This is Radio Clash’by the Clash.’In the air tonight’by Phil Collins and every time I hear it..I think of Miami Vice.
‘Good yea
r for the rose’by Elvis Costello and the Attractions,’Charolle Sometimes’by The Cure,’Cool Night’by Paul Davis,‘Star’by Kiki Dee,’Just can’t get enough’by Depeche Mode,’Plan B and Show Me’,by Dexy’s Midnight Runner,’Romeo and Juliet and Tunnel of love’by Dire Straits,’Take it to the limit’by the Eagles,’Let’s Groove’by Earth Wind and Fire,’For your eyes only and When he shines’by Sheena Easton,’Hold on Tight’by ELO,Abacab’by Genesis,’Say I love you’by Renee Geyer,’The Lunitics have taken over the asylum’by Fun Boys Three,’Southern Freeze’by Freeze,’Juke Box Hero and ‘Urgent’by Foreigner,’Bad Habits an You weren’t in love with me’by Billy Field,and ‘Who do you think we are’by Alice Cooper.’The risen’ by the Eagles,’Is that love’by Labelled With Love,’Tonight I’m Your’s’by Rod Stewart,’Thrown Away’by Stranglers,’Rock the town’by the Stray Cats(I like the Stray Cats..alot),’Once in a life time’by Talking Heads,’One in Ten’by UB40,’You better you bet’by The Who,’Just the Two of us’by Grover Washington and Bill Withers,’Elvira’by The Oak Ridge Boys,’Slow Hand’by the Pinter Sisters,’De dododo,De da da da’by the Police,’Hello Again’, by Neil Diamond,’Sukiyaki'(another favorite) by A Taste of Honey,’Boy from New York City’by Manhattan Transfer,’All those years ago’by George Harrison,’9 to 5’by Dolly Parton,’I Love a Rainy Night’by Eddie Rabbit,’Keep on loving you’by REO Speedwagon,’Rapture’by Blondi,’Private eyes and Kiss on my list’by Daryl Hall and John Oates,’Morning train’by Sheena Easton,’Bette Davis Eyes’by Kim Carnes(oh man, I loved that song…doofus me..)’Every woman in the world and ‘The One that you love’by Air Supply,’Jesse’s Girl’by Rick Springfield(if you are interested..he is back on General Hospital too),’Endless Love’by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie,’Authur’s Theme’by Christopher Cross,’Physical’by Olivia Newton-John,’Begin the Beguine‘by Julio Iglesias,’Under Pressure’by Queen and David Bowie,’Every little thing she does is magic’by the Police,‘Prince Charming and Stand and Deliver’by Adam and the Ants,’Tainted Love’by Soft Cell(best selling single of ’81)’Japanese boy and This old house’by Shakin’ Stevens,’Kings of the Wild’by Frontier,’Jealous Guy’by Roxy Music,’The Land of make believe, and Making your mind up by Bucks Fizz,’Aie a mwana’by Bananarama,’Woman and Imagine’by John Lennon,and who could forget that wonder piece of music:”Shuddup You Face’by the Joe Dolce Music Theater…(shake your bootie….shake your bootie…)
‘One day in your life’by Michael Jackson,’Under your thumb’by Godley and Creme,’Back Fired’by Debbie harry,’Can’t get enough of you’by Eddy Grant,’Love action’by Human League,’Body Talk’by Imagination,’Can You feel i
t and Funeral Pyre’by The Jam,’Super Freak’by Rick James,’Quiet Life’by Japan,’No Body wins’, by Elton John,’Razzamatazz’by Quincey Jones,’Watching the wheels’by John Lennon,I shot the sherrif’by Life of the world,’Intuition’by Linx,’Grey Day and It must be love’by Madness,’Only Crying’by Keith Marshall,’If you Leave can I come too and Too many times’by Mentals,’Good thing going’by Sugar Minott,’Mental Hospital, by Missing Persons,’Angel of the morning and Queen of Hearts’by Juice Newton( I like her music very very much),’Hip shake jerk’by The Quick,’Pretty in Pink’by Psychedelic Furs,’Why do fools fall in love’by Diana Ross,’Runaround Sue’by Racey,’Start me up and Waiting on a friend’, by The Stones,’Wired for Sound’by Cliff Richard,’Controversy’by Prince,’I go to sleep’by Pretenders,’Invisible Sun’by Police,’Over the Mountains’,by Ozzie Osbourne,’Souvenir’by OMD,’She Still Cares’by Gary Numan,’Stop dragging my heart around’by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.Last but not least…one of those forgetable songs…or at least I did…
“There’s a guy who works down the chip shop swear’s he’s Elvis’…..by Kristy MacColl….
I on t
he other hand was an admired of Merle Haggard who is the only person I know that can rhyme Drink and Bank…as in You can take it to the bank,I’m just going to sit here and drank’….ahh yes…’Angel flying to close to the ground’by Willie,’Texas Women’by Hank Williams,jr.’Seven year Ache and My baby thinks he’s a train’by Roseanne Cash,’All my rowdy friends have all settled down’by ole Hank, jr. and another great George Jones song….’Still Doing Time‘…when people ask me what I’m doing I always say ‘just doing my time.’
1982 is one of the worse years of my life …so I am not looking forward to it…but…I’ll do it…only because I said I would…but you sonsabitches owe me…big time…

…………..SURI CRUISE………….

August 13, 2006

thanks to doonsbury,I have the first picture of the CRUISE BABY.
nice Suri….good Suri…no Suri…arghhghghghghghhhghghhg


August 12, 2006