Archive for April, 2005

KING GEORGE

April 29, 2005


WELL, I REALLY DID TRY AND WATCH HIM BUT THAT DAMN “SHIT EATING GRIN” OF HIS JUST MAKES ME SO DAMN MAD IM AFRAID IM GOING TO PULL AN ELVIS AND SHOOT OUT MY TV…SO I FIGURED IF IM GOING TO HAVE TO LOOK AT A WIENIE I WOULD WATCH PBS SPECIAL ON HOT DOGS….AT LEAST THOSE WIENIES DONT MAKE ME WANT TO BASH MY HEAD ON THE WALL…
AND ON LETTERMAN THE OTHER NIGHT A GUY NAMED JEFF MCGREGGOR WAS ON..WROTE A BOOK CALLED SUNDAY MONEY..ABOUT NASCAR RACING..AND USED A TERM THAT I FOUND TO BE ONE OF THE FUNNIEST I HAD EVER HEARD…REFERING TO THE PEOPLE THAT LED THE BIKIKI CLAD TRIPLES AROUND THE TRACK BEFORE THE RACE AS “SKANK RANGLERS”..I CRACKED UP….HAVE TO READ THE BOOK NOW FOR SURE…
THIS IS GOING TO BE A SHORT BLOG AS I HAVE TO SEE ABOUT GETTING NEW INSURANCE ON MY TRUCK…BUT BEFORE I GO……WHO THE HELL WAS THE IDIOT THAT RUINED A GREAT IDEA LIKE THE POTATO CHIP AND DECEIDED IT NEEDED TO TASTE LIKE SALAD DRESSING…WHAT NEXT..CEREAL THAT TASTE LIKE KETCHUP???

thanks for the comments

April 28, 2005


i so appreciate the comments everyone leaves for my blogs…nice to know that im not the only one that thinks im smart and funny..
i was watching pbs the other night, think it was smiley travis?? and he had this reverend on and was touting his book, havent got it yet but am reading his other one called taking the bible back from the fundamentals..?? or close the guys name is rev. strok and the book is soo good. im not a christian as i belive in a woman god..but if more christians thought like this man i would be come a believer.. i ususally dont recomment non fiction as i end up pissing everyone off with my yellowdogdemocrat views..but this book needs to be read more and his new one..ill get the title by the next time i get on..(just remembered he bpg show”s host is travis smiley…but i kind of like mine better)…
king george is going to commandeer our tv again tonight…why thurs. you dick wad…make me miss csi and er…i thought he would be so busy holding the prince”s hand and kissing his ass that we might not see him around for a while…also was in dallas paper..when the prince was in dallas,(seems he”s not fond of the plainess of ”the ranch”(no stock so still dont know how this is a ranch) and rented the entire hotel in dallas for himself and his croneys..the guy that makes his tea and the one that helps him dress and the one that…well, you get the idea…for all the ass kissing and handholding that king george did with the prince…nothing has changed..we are still paying $50 a barrel for gas…but the upside is all those asshole”s that bought the bigass hummers and suv”s are selling them off and taking at least a $700 loss…hee..hee…the goddess strikes again…

jesus loves me this i know….cause the bible tells me soo

April 27, 2005


WELL, TO ALL OUR GAY AND LESBIAN FRIENDS OUT THERE..EVIDENTLY JESUS DIDNT MEAN YOU..ACCORDING TO THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT… I READ EVERY DAY IN THE PAPER ABOUT GAY BASHING, LESBIANS BEING FIRED, MILITARY PEOPLE GETTING OUT OF ARMY BECAUSE THE DONT ASK DONT TELL POLICY JUST DOESNT WORK…STATES HAVE SCREWED UP FOSTER CARE SYSTEMS YET GAYS AND LESBIANS CANT BE A FOSTER PARENT. THEY CANT MARRY OR HAVE A LEGAL UNION…WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT FOR THE MIDDLE EAST IS THIS ACCEPTABLE…??? NO WHERE..ENGLAND HAS PASSED A LAW ALLOWING GAYS AND LESBIANS TO MARRY, HAVE THE SAME BENEFITS THAT MARRIED COUPLES DO..BUT NOT HERE….IN THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE SCARDY CATS…MEAN WHILE KING GEORGE IS HOLDING HANDS WITH A PRINCE (SOME DAY MY PRINCE WILL COME)..TO BETTER OUR HOPES IN LOWERING THE GAS PRICES…NEXT STEP WILL BE KING GEORGE KISSING HIS ASS…AND GAS WILL STILL BE $50 A BARREL…FUCK ME ILL NEVER SMILE AGAIN….

dont move to bloomaburg, texas

April 25, 2005


what ever you do…just about the time i think its enough to live happily in texas because of the bluebonnets, beautiful clouds, the dallas cowboys, and my family resides here…some more stupid people crawl out of the wood work and fuck up my day…
so, im reading my daily dallas morning newspaper like i do every flapping day of my life…and what do i see on page 4a the texas ssection…but this headline
LESBIANS” FIRINGS OPEN RIFT IN TOWN..
yup the insane people are running the aslymn again…2 women who are lesbians were fired from their job in a town of 375 people…one was a bus driver and office assistant and the other was a teacher and coach who led the school”s basketball team to state finals in 2004….seems a mr. jerry hendrick a school counselor was promoted to superintendent and used the occasion to fire them for being lesbians… a board memeber ronnie peacock(now there is a gay name if i ever heard one)….said he was going ot make sure they were fired bcause they were lesbians…you know i bet i know why old ronnie is so against gays….i bet with a name like peacock he got teased his entire boyhood by those mean spirited little kids about having a name with cock in it…peacock, “seecock, beacock, i can imagine the names he was called…”..well, there goes my happy day….why oh why arent people more understanding and tolerant about their fellow human beings…when i meet someone i dont think to myself i wonder who they sleepw with, or how they do it…i could care less. i want to know if this person is good to their family, is good to their friends…likes animals and lives a good life…i dont care what they do …as long as they dont do it in my yard and scare my dogs… so im here to say please excuse the ignorant people that live in a town of 375..not all of them..as i know there are some good ones out there…but i am sorry that they are ignorant assholes …the goddess will get them….

1001….bloggers to me…

April 25, 2005


far fucking out…cant believe that i have that many bloggers to this site..i only started blogging so i could piss people off and damn everyone (sofar) agrees with me…now how much fun is that…lots…so far I”ve only pissed one person off and had to go to her site to do it….she was from texas and was whinning…now i allow bitching, carping, muttering, and general bad hehavior..but whinning…no fucking way tonto..i know times are tough, hard and heart breaking…but whinning is unexceptable…i have a sign at the house that says .”no whinning zone”…
im still in shock from sat. my son bought me a lawn mower and came over and mowed my lawn…so grass is no longer up to my ass…and to top it off, it rained right afterwards and my tomatoes have lilttle yellow flowers…so excited…going to go buy some herbs..is that ”erbs or herbs???
the jefferson airplane had a song about a baby and his war toys…cant remember all of it or even most of it..but for some reason when i think of king george i think of that song…in case anyone has a weird sense of humor go to the web site..georgewbush is the anti-christ…i did and laughed so hard….eveyone needs a good laugh….well, is raining again. want to get home and put kitchen window down….

YOU KNOW YOUR A YELLOW DOG WHEN ………

April 24, 2005


YESTERDAY WAS A GREAT DAY..KINDA SORTA..WENT TO GARAGE SALES, ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO…AND THIS ONE ADVERTISED BOOKS, LOTS OF BOOKS…SO I DROVE WAY THE HELL INTO BUMFUCK, TEXAS AND FOUND THIS PLACE WITH ALL THE BOOKS…AND IT WAS FUN…UNTIL…..THE COUPLE RUNNING IT SEEMED NICE ENOUGH PEOPLE, THE OLD MAN WHO WAS WEARING WHITE TSHIRT, BIB OVERALLS, WHITE SOCKS AND HOUSESLIPPERS…WAS A BIT CHATTY, BUT ILL TALK TO A STUMP SO THAT WAS NO PROBLEM…BUT SOMEHOW AND I SWEAR TO THE GODDESS I DONT KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT WE WENT FROM TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER (HAD BEEN WINDY AND A LITTLE NIPPY FOR A CHANGE) TO ARGUING POLITICS… I KNOW HE SARTED IT AS I TRY TO KEEP MY COMMENTS TO MYSELF AS I KNOW IM OUT NUMBERED HERE AS MOST ARE RIGHT WING, WINGNUT REPUBLICANS…SO I KEEP MY PEACE TO KEEP PEACE…BUT NOOOOOOO, THIS ASSHOLE INFORMED ME THAT IT WAS THE DEMOCRATS FAULT ABOUT THE HIGH LAND TAXES, THE CITY TAXES (ALL DOMINATED BY REPUBLICANS)..THE STAE OF THE NATION..THAT THE ONLY REASON WE WERE IN IRAQ WAS TO SAVE THE PEOPLE FROM SADAAM, GEORGE BUSH WAS BEING PICKED ON, ETC. ETC. ETC. WELL, THE THIN FINE WIRE THAT KEEPS ME FROM SANPPING……..SNAPPED…..I CALMLY SAID (THRU GRITTED TEETH) NO THE REASON WE ARE IN IRAQ IS BECAUSE KING GEORGE LIED LIKE A PERSIAN RUG TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT WMD …AND HOW COULD ALL THE PROBLEMS BE DEMOCRATS WHEN THE FUCKING REPUBLICANS WERE IN POWER…THINK THIS IS WHEN HIS THIN FINE WIRE SNAPPED. HE SAID ALL DEMOCRATS WANT MORE GOVERNMENT, THEY WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM…THIS CAUSED THE FIRST OF MANY FUSES TO BLOW….I SAID YOU IGNORANT RED NECK ASSHOLE…WE DONT WANT MORE GOVERMENT IN OUR LIFE..WE WANT THEM OUT OF OUR LIVES…WE WANT THEM OUT OF OUR WOMBS, OUT OF OUR BEDROOMS AND AWAY FROM THE SIDE OF HOSPITAL BED WHEN WE ARE DIEING…THE ONLY THING WE DEMOCRATS WANT …IS FOR ALL YOU FUCKING IGNORANT REPUBLICANS TO EAT SHIT AND DIE…..NEXT ROUND OF FUSES BLEW…TWO THINGS HAPPENED …I PAID FOR MY BOOKS AND STARTED OUT OF THERE AND HE STARTED SPUTTERING LIKE A OLD OUT BOARD MOTOR….HE WAS STILL SPUTTERING WHEN I GOT IN MY TRUCK AND DROVE AWAY….AH, LIFE IS GOOD.I FINALLY MANAGED TO PISS SOMEONE OFF AND GOT TWO GREAT BOOKS IN THE BARGAIN….

SPRING TIME IN TEXAS

April 23, 2005


ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT TEXAS ARE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW…ITS SPRING TIME IN TEXAS…THE BLUE BONNETS ARE BLOOMING AND ANYONE WHO HASENT BEEN TO TEXAS IN THE SPRING TO SEE THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION…WELL, SORRY…BLUE BONNETS ARE THE STATE FLOWER….THE INDIAN LORE ABOUT HOW THEY CAME ABOUT IS THAT THERE WAS A TIME OF GREAT DROUGHT AND THINGS WERE GETTING REALLY TOUGH ON THE INDIANS OF THE PLAINS OF TEXAS…THE GROUND WAS DRYING AND CRACKING, CROPS WERE DIEING AND ANIMALS WERE STARTING TO DIE ALSO…THE INDIANS WERE IN DIRE STRAITES…ONE LITTLE INDIAN GIRL HAD A DOLLY THAT SHE LOVED ABOUT ALL THINGS…SO SHE DECEIDED TO SCRAFICE HER DOLLY TO THE GODS AND SEE IF IT WOULD BRING RAIN…AND SHE BURNED HER DOLLY AND THEN STARTED TO CRY AND THEN IT STARTED TO RAIN..AND WHERE SHE HAD CRIED..BLUE BONNETS POPPED UP..THERE IS EVEN A SONG ABOUT IT AND REMEMBER SINGING IT TO MY GRANDDAUGHTER WHEN SHE WAS A BABY…EACH GIRL HAD THEIR OWN SONG…
THE OTHER THING I LOVE ABOUT TEXAS IN THE SPRING IS BASEBALL SEASON…WEST, TEXAS IS VERY SERIOUS ABOUT KIDS AND BASEBALL. WE HAVE 73KAZILLION TEAMS OF BASEBALL. FROM TBALL TO PONY LEAGUE…AND WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS BASEBALL PLAYERS… AND THE NICE THING ABOUT IT,IS (KNOCK ON WOOD) THAT WE DONT HAVE ANY OF THE PSYCHO PARENTS THAT GO CRAZY DURING THE GAMES AND THREATEN TO KICK EACH OTHERS ASS OR KILL THE UMPIRE…THEY ACTUALLY ARE JUST PARENTS THAT ARE HAPPY THAT THEIR KIDS ARE PLAYING BALL…WENT TO LIBARAY THIS AM TO CHECK OUT NUMBER 5 OF THE DARK TOWER SERIES AND THE BASEBALL PARK IS RIGHT THERE AND THERE MUST HAVE BEEN 400 CARS…CONSIDERING THE POPULATION IS LESS THAN 2,000 THATS A LOT…IT IS A REALLY GREAT COMPLEX..HAVE 4 FIELDS I THINK…A NICE CONCESSION STAND AND NICE BLEACHERS…AND EVERYBODY GOES TO WATCH THE GAMES..MOM, DAD, SIBLINGS AND MOST OF ALL THE GRANDPARENTS…AND THE GREAT THING ABOUT THAT IS THERE ARE ALOT OF CZECH BORN PEOPLE STILL HERE AND THEY ALL SPEAK CZECH…AND LISTENING TO THEM YELL ENCOURAGING THINGS TO THE KIDS IN CZECH IS PRETTY FUNNY…
I THINK TODAY THEY ARE JUST SIGNING UP KIDS FOR TEAMS…EACH BUSINESS IN TOWN SPONSERS AT LEAST ONE TEAM…SOME SPONSER 3-4 TEAMS…IN DIFFERENT LEAGUES, DIFFERENT AGES AND OF COURSE THIS IS TEXAS..DIFFERENT SEXES…I DONT MEAN WE HAVE DIFFERENT SEXES (LIKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN BOY, GIRL..) I MEAN THAT THE BOYS HAVE THEIR TEAMS AND THE GIRLS HAVE THEIRS…WHICH I THINK SUCKS…BUT…AT LEAST THE GIRLS CAN PLAY. WHEN I WAS A GIRL MANY MANY MANY MANY MOONS AGO, GIRLS COULDNT PLAY BALL…I WAS BORN IN 43…BUT DURNING SUMMER I PLAYED ON THE SAND LOT TEAMS AND KICKED ASS. I WAS CATCHER AND MY HERO WAS ROY CAMPANELLA OF THE BROOKLYN DODGERS… MAN I LOVED ROY CAMPANELLA…THAT WAS WHO I WANTED TO BE….THE CATCHER FOR THE BROOKLYN DODGERS… I WAS AN ONLY CHILD OF A AIR FORCE M/SGT. AND HE TAUGHT ME THAT I COULD DO ANYTHING AND BE ANYTHING….JUST HAD TO PUT MY MIND TO IT AND GIVE IT MY ALL…SO I SAID I WANT TO BE A CATCHER FOR THE BROOKLYN DODGERS….HE SAID ASK FOR SOMETHING ELSE..BOY WAS I PISSED…

ROCKY THE CAT

April 22, 2005


I LIKE TO THINK THAT I NAMED MY CAT THE CORRECT NAME WHEN I GOT HIM. WHEN I BROUGHT HIM HOME INTO MY HOME THE FIRST TIME AFTER RESCUEING HIM FROM A COUNTRY ROAD(LAYING DOWN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT) THE FIRST THING HE DID WAS LEAP ON MY PIT BULL DOG NATE WHO WAS ALREADY PUSSY WHIPPED BY THE OTHER TWO CATS I HAD AT THE TIME…HE GREW UP A PUPPY WITH THE GROWN CATS AND THEY RAISED HIM TO BE RESPECTFUL AND TO FEAR THEM…HE WEIGHED 100 LBS, AND THEY TOPPED OFF AT ABOUT 8LBS A PIECE, BUT THEY WERE THE BOSS AND NEVER LET HIM FORGET IT…AFTER I CALMED NATE DOWN FROM THE ATTACK BY THE NEW WHITE CAT WITH THE TAIL WITH YELLOW RINGS AROUND IT I FED WATERED AND SHOWED HIM WHERE THE LITER BOX WAS..HE THEN POUNCED ON THE OTHER TWO CATS…CHUCK AND AL..WHO IMMEDIATELY KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM…TO LET HIM TOO KNOW WHO WAS BOSS. AFTER THE DUST SETTLED AND THINGS STARTED TO RETURN TO NORMAL I NOTICED THAT THE NEW CAT HAD FUNNY COLORED EYES AND JUST KIND OF LOOKED WEIRD..WHEN I WOULD COME UP TO HIM HE WOULD TURN HIS HEAD AROUND, BACK AND FORTH LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHERE THE VOICE WAS COMING FROM…FOUND OUT HE HAS A SERVER VISION PROBLEM..HE”S NOT BLIND BUT HE DOESNT SEE THINGS LIKE HE SHOULD…HE WILL TRACE MY VOICE WITH HIS HEAD AND I HAVE TO STICK HIS HEAD INTO HIS FOOD BOWL AS HE CANT FIND IT HALF THE TIME…
WELL THE OTHER TWO CATS WENT THE WAY OF MOST CATS…AL DIED FROM SOME CAT DESEASE AND BLESSED OLD CHUCK DIED FROM OLD AGE…WAS ALMOST 17 YEARS OLD…AND NATE TRIED TO ATTACK A PICKUP TRUCK THAT WAS GOING 50 MILES AN HOUR…BUT OLD ROCKY IS STILL WITH ME…HE IS ABOUT 8 YEARS OLD AND HAVE DECEIDED THAT WHILE ROCKY IS A GOOD NAME FOR A CAT THAT LIKES TO FIGHT…SHOULD HAVE NAMED HIM “CANT FIGHT FOR SHIT”…AS HE IS CONSTANTLY GETTING HIS ASS KICKED….CAME HOME LAST NIGHT AND HIS NECK IS ALL CHEWED UP, HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE A PIN CUSHION, AND BIG GASH IN HIS SIDE…DOCTORED HIM UP AND TRIED TO KEEP HIM IN BUT HE SLIPPED OUT WHEN TROOPER WHEN OUT SIDE…
SO STAY TUNED FOR NEXT CHAPTER IN THE MANY ASSKICKINGS OF ROCKY….

HOUSTON…WE HAVE A POPE

April 19, 2005


WELL, NOW WE HAVE POPE BENEDICT THE XV1…BENEDICT MEANING BLESSED…HOPE THIS ONE ISNT A HARD LINER THAT REFUSES TO SEE THE POVERTY THAT IS ALL AROUND IN COUNTRIES WHERE THEY ARE SO OVER POPULATED THAT PEOPLE STARVE BEFORE THEY CAN GROW UP…AND LET THE PEOPLE USE BIRTH CONTROL. ALLOW THE USE OF STEM CELL RESEARCH…KICK THE PRIEST OUT OF THE CHURCH THAT WOULD DARE HARM A CHILD..

THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON IN MY FRIEND”S ATTIC. IM AT HIS HOUSE USING HIS COMPUTER AND THERE IS HISSING, GROWLING, SCRATCHING, THUMPING, RUNNING AND CHATTERING COMING FROM UP ABOVE MY HEAD…ITS EITHER SQUIRELS GETTING IN ON OR THE HOUSE IS POSSESSED…

SUPPOSED TO RAIN TODAY AND BEEN WAITING ALL MORNING FOR IT…MY TOMATOES NEED IT BADLY…BUT SINCE MY GRASS IS STILL ASS HIGH MEANS IF IT RAINS ILL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW DAYS TO MOW…THINK ILL JUST BUY A DAMN GOAT…WELL, OFF TO GROCERY SHOP…WEST HAS 2 SMALL GROCERY STORES…ONE STILL DELIVERS TO THE HOMES OF SHIT IN”S LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS… OUR DRUG STORE”S WILL DELIVER TO THE HOUSE TOO. ONLY THING I CANT GET DELIVERED TO THE HOUSE IS A DAMN PIZZA….

PLEASE IF YOUR NUTS…DONT COME TO TEXAS

April 15, 2005


WE HAVE ALL THE NUTS HERE WE NEED. WAS ARTICLE IN THE DALLAS AM NEW WHICH I READ EVERY EVERY DAY…AND THEY ARE TRYING TO PASS LAWS TO RAISE THE AGE OF CONSENT FOR MARRIAGE TO16 FROM 14. MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR STEP PARENTS TO MARRY STEP CHILDREN…AND TOUGHER REQUIREMENTS TO RUN FOR OFFICE…WELL, THESE ARE ALL GOOD LAWS TO MAKE AND THE ONLY THING THAT PISSES ME OFF IS THEY ARE ONLY BEING MADE TO KEEP OUT THE FUNDAMENTALIST CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS…WHO HAVE SETTLED DOWN IN WEST TEXAS RIGHT OUT SIDE OF ELDORADO…NOW IF THESE LAWS HAD BEEN ALREADY IN PLACE THOSE WHACKO”S WOULDNT HAVE MOVED HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE..JUST ABOUT THE TIME I SETTLE IN AND THINK.”DAMN, I LOVE TEXAS”…SOME CRAP LIKE THIS POPS UP…JUDAS PRIEST..IS EVERYONE IN TEXAS CRAZY…???AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN ENTIRE STATE? NOW TO HERE MY RELATIVES TALK …IM THE NUT CASE. THEY ARE ALL RIGHT WING WINGNUTS, VERY RELIGIOUS AND THINK EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN IS GOING TO GET ME SENT STRAIGHT TO HELL. THUS, THE PRAYER MEETINGS THEY HAVE FOR ME…I BELIVE THAT THERE IS A GOODESS, NOT A GOD…JESUS IS A REALLY GREAT GUY…IF LIZ TAYLOR, MICHEY ROONEY, JENNIDFER LOPEZ, AND HALF THE PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD HAVENT ALREADY RUINED THE BINDS OF MARRIAGE..TWO PEOPLE OF THE SAME SEX VOWING TO LOVE EACH OTHER IS NOT GOING TO MESS IT UP ANY WORSE…I DONT BELIVE IN ABORTION, BUT I DAMN SURE DONT THINK A BUNCH OF OLD FARTS IN BLACK ROBES, OR OLD FARTS IN RED DRESSES HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL A WOMAN WHAT SHE CAN OR CANT DO WITH HER BODY..AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE THAT WERE PRAYING FOR TERRI…WELL, GET A FUCKING LIFE….GO HOME TAKE YOUR WIFE OUT TO DINNER, TAKE THE KIDS TO THE ZOO, ADOPT SOME OF THOSE FOSTER KIDS THAT ARE BEING LOST, ABUSED, AND KILLED IN THE MIGHTY STATE OF FLORIDA…AND IF ITS OK FOR A BRAIN DEAD WOMAN TO LIVE..HOW COME ITS OK TO KILL HEALTHY ONES IN THE STATE PRISON….
MAN, DO I FEEL BETTER NOW…PISS ANYONE OFF YET…???? I CAN ONLY HOPE…