THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH,CRY OR SAY FUCK


or just things that twist my mind and my drawers..
there was article in dallas morning news..about high-tech pajamas for women with hot flashes and the dreaded night sweats…a moisture managment product…well fuck me… next there will be thermal underwear for men who suffer from blue balls…ok, that’s one…
now how many of you have seen the commerical for aol. where the woman comes in with a apple crunch cake to thank them for putting in the spy wear with her aol..???? now if this was real life, she would have had to get on the plane and fly to India to give them the cake as there are no tech”s in the us…they are all in India or some other country. I know as I have had many talks with the aol tech”s and not one of them speak english as a first language..I got so pissed off one night after getting one Indian after another Indian trying to explain my problem to me…finally went redneck and said if I was going to be forced to talk to an Indian could I at least talk to an American Indian, like a Hopi, or Navajo or Apache..least I would be able to understand them…that’s two.
today along with my water bill I received the 2004 annual drinking water quality report…for the city of west…the average contaminant of arsenic is 0.400, this is from erosion of natural deposits, runnoff from orchards, runnoff from glass and electonics production wastes…there is also below the limits of barium, chronium, fluoride, nitrate, combined radium, gross beta emitters, and gross alpha.these are inorganic contaminants…
organic contaminants are atrazine, and xylenes.
disinfection byproducts are total haloacetic acids, and total trihalomethanes…
plus secondary and other not regulated constituents…aluminum, bircarbonate, calcium, chloride, copper, iron, lead, magnesium, manganese, nickel, ph, sodium yadayada….yadayada..
in other words with all this “stuff” in the water …it’s fit to drink…ha…and people want to know why I drink so much damn Dublin Dr. Pepper…
that’s three..
Tonight Forest Gump is going to talk to us about the war in Iraq…well, fuck me til I cant walk with out a hitch in my getalong..I got my email from movingon.org. and they have a list of papers you can write to..a fast way to write to President Gump as if that will help any…spending has gone up 33% since forest took office…highest since any president..I wonder just how close to crawford I can really get…that’s four..
Texas won the baseball series..Baylor didnt..fuck..plus we got scanctioned by the commissioner for being bad two years ago..cant play in any bowl games for one or two years…could have been worse..but the Baptist are smart..they did the mea culpa, begged for forgivness, said “we be sorry” and kissed alot of ass..sooo like I said, it could have been worse..that”s five
well, I now have to take time out from all this fun to write an article for the west news about our library. no one uses it …we need patrons and Im going to raise some hell..see if I cant get the memebership up..or one day I will drive up and there will be pad locks on the door and let me tell you..that will not be good for some one..cause me with out my library..is not a good thing..I promise you…some asskicking will commence…ya’ll come back..ya’hea…

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