TOWN MOURNS THE LOSS OF ITS ONLY DEMOCRAT


Jackiesue D_______ passed away yesterday evening while watching the Presidents speech about Iraq. “As well as we can figure she just went up in flames.” said Freddy Gerik, local volunteer firefighter.”I think they call it spontaneous conbustion, but I’d never seen anything like it before. “Mrs. Maryruth Stroder was questioned by the police as she had called them to complain about the noise, cursing and furniture being tossed out of the house by Ms. D_______. “I have heard her yelling and screaming at the tv before when the President was on, but nothing like tonight, she just went crazy. The last thing I heard her say was “the Iraqui’s had nothing to do with 9-11 you ignorant, noaccount motherfucker.”..man, she was just so mad at him..”Other neighbors when questioned said they saw her standing in the door way tossing out furniture and then she threw out the tv…”Then the next thing we saw was her bursting into flames”, said Mrs. Shroder as she wiped away a tear…”it was just awful, poor Jackie, who is going to take care of her dogs and cat?” When her son arrived he said he wasen’t surprised. that she had gotten a lot worse about the President every since he got reelcedted. said he wasen’t President, he was a fucking theif. Visably shaken her son wept, She always wanted to be cremated, guess she saved us about $1,000. She wanted her ashes to be scattered on a patch of blue bonnets…so we will keep what’s left of her in a KFC box until spring and then we will obey her last wish..”On being notified by her family, her blog friends were all saddened to hear of her death..”Well, at least she went out in a blaze of glory, too bad she couldnt have taken Forest with her”, said her blogger friend Soonerfan78…At her family’s request, in lieu of flowers please make donations to the election of Kinky Friedman for governor of Texas….

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