MORE WEIRD SHIT


I got to thinking that there was no happy shit in my weird shit..so here is some funny weird shit.
when i went to kindergarden i lasted 3 days before they pinned a note to my snowsuit that said”please check Jackiesue’s pockets before she enters the school building”…this was after the first day of dead mouse in teachers desk, second day a mother spider and her nest of baby spiders and third day was glue spilled on her chair..
my cousins and I lived out in country around mesquite texas while our daddys were fighting the war…we each had chores..larrywayne fed chickens, micheal ray fed pigs and we all helped milk cows… so 2 of us would always gang up on the other one..one time mike didnt feed the pigs for 2-3 days and then we threw larrywayne into the pig pen..they almost ate him up…our grandfather”daddy red”..said “ya’ll gonna kill that boy”..we said..”yup”…now larry wayne loved the chickens..probably because we always picked on him so much..but he was a whinny little sissy and we couldnt stand that…he tattled all the time…I still have memories of his voice crying out..”big mama, jackiesue hit me”…betcha ass i hit him. little weasel..anyhow..larrywayne had a pet chicken…he named her elizabeth and he carried her all over the damn place…she slept with him even…we hated that damn chicken..she would peck us if we got near him…soooo(you know where this is going, dont ya sooner)..one day larrywayne went to town with his mother and we took elizabeth to the lady that lived down the dirt road from us..Mrs. Hart. We said that bigmama was really busy and needed her to help kill this chicken so we could have it for sunday dinner…so she did..Then we brought back the chicken and said Mrs. Har had given us this chicken for sunday dinner…so Bigmama(our grandmother) fried up the chicken…we waited till larrywayne had eaten a leg and was starting in on a thigh when we informed him that he was eating Elizabeth…I do belive that is why larrywayne never comes to any of the family reunions if im going to be there…I went to his daddy’s funeral and he woulnd come out of the bedroom til i had left…heeheee…mike and i were 5 and larrywayne was 8…he never quite got over it…we also tied him to his horse silver..who was 89 years old…and daddy red said”ya”ll gonna kill that boy”..we said “yup”…this was before tv..only game in town was fucking with larrywayne…he kind of sorta got even with me..when i was about 13 and had tits out to here..he cut a hole in the bath room and charged his friends .25 to peep thru the hole while i took a bath..took me 2 summers to whip all those boys asses…and larrywaynes…
ok, is that funny enough..or is that too mean…

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