Archive for October, 2005

STUFF ABOUT CHILI

October 29, 2005


i am lucky to own three of the greatest chili books every written…”A Bowl Of Red” by frank x. tolbert, “The Great Chili Confrontation” by h. allen smith(my first last and best hero) and “The Great American Chili Book” by bill bridges…the book by h. allen smith was written about the first chili cookoff in terlingua, texas…if you ever get a chance to read it, it is one of the funniest books ever..but then every thing that ole h. allen wrote was funny. i named my first son after him..david michael allen brown…the allen after h. allen..when i wrote and told him i had named my son after him he was very pleased as so far the only thing named after him was a weiner dog …and he said having a human named after him was much better than having a dog named after him..we wrote to each other for years…but back to the chili books..in the great chili confrontation he says that everyone wants the claim of making the first chili..new mexico, texas etc…but that they could trace back thru time the first chili made and was made in mexico..he cited the classic work by bernal diaz del castillo, which chronicles the invasion of mexico city by cortez and his conquistadores in the 16th century. diaz reports that he wintnessed a ceremony in which some of his spanish compadres were sacrifided by aztec priests, and then butchered; chunks of conquistadore meat were thrown to the populace, and these people rushed home and cooked them with hot peppers , wild tomatoes, and an herb that apparently was oregano..so to sit down to make real chili, the recipe must begin, “first, catch yourself a lean spaniard…”..ahh, i miss ole h. allen
now in the “a bowl of red” it includes the chili prayer..”Lord, God, You know us old cowhands is forgetful.Sometimes, I can’t even recollect what happened yestiddy.We is forgetful. We just know daylight and dark, summer, fall, winter, and spring.But I sure hope we don’t never forget to thank You before we is about to eat a mess of good chili.
“We don’t know why, in Your wisdom, You been so doggone good to us. The heathen Chinee don’t have no chilie, ever. The Frenchmens is lieft out. The Rooshians don’t know no more about chili than a hog does about a side saddle.Even the Meskins don’t get a good whiff of it unless they stay around here.
“Chili eaters is some of Your chosen people. We don’t know why You so doggone good to us. But, Lord, God, don’t never think we ain’t grateful for this chilie we about to eat. Amen.”

now that is a prayer..but should have been to the goddess, but don’t think cowboys are inclined to worship a woman as a diety…unless she can make a hellacius pot of chili…

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THE HAPS IN WEST AND AROUND THE WORLD

October 29, 2005


im going to pretend that my message got thru to you all and things are getting back to normal..what is sad is the blogster is so fucking slow that i cant even read most of the post all of you make and when i do get thru and read them, instead of witty funny insightful remarks they are grumbling, grouchy bitchy pissing and moaning..so im going to pretend all is well and continue to post my “stuff”(your shit, my stuff)…and hope all is settling down..and by the way..thanks sooner for the update…you the man..

i have been singing the battle of jerico..”and the walls came tumbling down”…every since harriet got bounced and “scooter” got busted..remember when i said i didnt have to do anything to ole forest as the goddess would take care of it for us? well…this is the work of the goddess and ole fitzgerald from chicago..he rocks..i loved his comparison to a batter getting hit in the head by a pitch…was it intentional, was it a slip, did he just mean to hit him on the chin..i was cracking up laughing..men are so silly..using sports analogies to get us thru another republican fuckup…ahhhh, next to go is cheney and then ole forest himself…thank you goddess, i for one appreciate it..knew it was just a matter of time before that entire administration just emploded…
well, in the little town of west..we are still celebrating scott and the other sox’s win…and to top it off, west high school band earned a division 1 in marching…their best preformance grabbed them the top rating at the region 8 university interscholastic league marching contest…so we are all proud of the west youth’s…and of course scott…wonder when the parade will be…?man, i cant get over how much resemblance there is between him and 2 of the granddaughters..especially haley..the little one..she looks more like her mama and the podsednik’s..nicole looks more like her daddy and the browns…wow….
west knights of columbus is breaking grounds for a new facility…they let the church ladies of west use their kitchen for west fest and they make the best beer bread you have ever had…the west chamber of commerce is sponsoring halloween alley. will have free face painting for the kids..and all the local business’s will be handing out free candy….one new birth, 2 birthdays and 5 deaths..we are losing ground again.plus someone is opening a new bed and breakfast..out in tours…be nice for west fest and family reunions..had one here in town.but people got to old to fool with it so closed it down…i spend 3 hours at laundry mat yesterday doing my laundry..i hate to do laundry..that was always the kids job and boy do i miss that..tours hall is celebrating their 50th annivesary…tours is a little tiny town right down the road from west..between west and leroy…on the other side of i-35 is ross and tokio…
kc hall is having a 42 domino tournament…in 1956 the were advertizing a 56 plymouth belvedere. aerodynamic styping, push button driving and powerful he hy-fire 277 engine…man you should see the fins on this hummer…west high school trojans beat venus, texas 70-8…and the lady trojans volleyball team are playoff bound..will the fort worth castelberry team..if anyone is interested in a new business, there are 2 resturants for sale..actually 3, but one has been on the market for so long, dont know how good a buy it is…would like to open up one of them and make it a tex/cajun resturant…i could do that…plus there is a bakery for sale..the oldest bakery in west…folks are just too old to run it anymore…there is a charming 2 bed on small lot for $44,900…houses are so cheap here..it is cheaper to buy than to rent…i still pay $225 a month for my little one bedroom..kind of renting it buying it…
well, that is the haps for west this week…same ole same ole…some die, some new ones are born…and the beat goes on…

GROW THE FUCK UP YOU BUNCH OF PUSSIES

October 27, 2005


i am up to the top line of my red neck with all this bull shit that is going on with all the blogsters…there is enought shit going just to find time to post, read comments and try to read an occasional email…but this bullshit with one person against another person and one against all..and all against one..well, it is just to stupid and 3rd grade for me to sit by and let it all go down the tubes..i came on to blogster.com to have fun and piss off the right wing christian right republicans..instead..i made some great friends…but now all these witty funny sweet people have turned into gigantic assholes…i have said it before..and will say it again…but this is the last time. so pay fucking attention…stop with this posting of mean shit on each other’s site..stop being mean spirtied, thin skinned jackassess..i swear to the goddess, this is worse than high school..it is so childish i cant even begin to understand what started it or what is keeping it going..but fuck you all..your stupid and childish and someone needs to reel you little assholes in…grow the fuck up…post what you want, but dont use it to be vicious and mean to other bloggers..stop posting mean and hurtful comments on your blog site..i know it is your site and you should be able to post what you want..but quit using it to act like 3rd graders…or jilted lovers..i repeat..grow the fuck up..you know who you are..and yes, this is to you..and you..and you too asshole..so SNAP OUT OF IT…fuckers..

MARATHON GAME

October 26, 2005


man was that a baseball game or what…???? i am so sorry for the astro fans…i know my sweet little aunt who is 80 years old, works 50 hours a week and still packs a gun is just so pissed ..she has been an astro fan since the first day they moved to town..she has lived in houston since the 30’s and loves her team..all my cousins love the astro’s, they go to all the games..i even root for them all the time..them and the rangers as i am all that is texas..but the sox’s are not to be denied..i actually think they will lose the game tonight just so they can go home and win it in front of the home team…which eveyone assures me is wrong..they will win if they can and then go home and celebrate with the fans..i feel guilty for not rooting for the astros..but i cant deny our hometown boy…now in a perfect world he would play for the astro’s…i just know that if the sox win..we will have a parade and all the bells and whistles for scott…i had forgotten when i first moved back to west that i helped my friend michael coach t-ball and scott was the other coach…and mike told me that scott was freaked out by me..didnt know they made women like me..who knew sports, cussed and raised hell..ha..he should have seen me when i drank…im tepid tea compared to what i was when i drank..but funny to think that sweet innocent kid is now whacking them balls out of the park in the world series…bet he has met alot more women like me by now..
i made myself laugh last night by saying “the new pitcher is…cox for soxs…another thing that made me laugh was one of the protestors in front of the white house had a tshirt on that said bushit…cracked me up…and then to top off my morning saw joe nichols sing “tequila makes her clothes fall off” on the view..could have been my theme song back in the 70’s and 80’s…i won $20 on a tequilla drinking contest back in 1969…customer at the bar where i worked bet me $20 that i couldnt drink a bottle of tequilla…so did…then went across the street and had another shot of tequilla..then drove(fuckme) home where i parked my station wagon on top off my highly loved and tenderly cared for rose bushes..slept for about 2-3 hours, got back in the station wagon went to the embers and had 2 shots of tequilla…then drove across town to the palm gardens where the bartender said i finished off his bottle of tequilla which had about 4 shots in it and one out of the new bottle and then went home again..the next day when i was picking cactus needles out of the pores of my skin i mentioned that i really got drunk on tequilla and no one knew i was drunk..they said i was quiet..but looked perfectly sober to them..hince comes the word stoned…for having drunk too much tequilla..(drunk..?drank??)all i know is the enamel on my teeth was gone from sucking on all the limes and lemons with the tequilla..and we figured it out that i had drank(drunk) over 1 1/2 bottles of tequilla in less than 5 hours..not counting the 2-3 hour nap…the thought of actually drinking tequilla now makes me gag…

‘MO SHIT TO THINK ABOUT..

October 25, 2005


bette midler has a new album coming out…cant wait…

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.
jaun ramon jimenex

things to avoid…
a truck with these two bumper stickers on it…
DISABLED VET AND I SUPPORT NRA…
have a feeling the first fender bender he would hobble out and pull a gun on you…

i was watching letterman last night and he had nicolas cage on the show..now i think he is a great actor and for some reason thought he was kinda hot…but last night he was on and he has been running and eating better and has lost a lot of weight..and im staring at him thinking …”there is something familar about him ..now what the fuck is it??” and all of a sudden my heart started racing and i got all sweaty and clammy and felt light headed….with the mustashe and the weight loss he looks just like my first husband..i almost had a full blown panic attack…freaked me out…made the gypsy sing to ward off evil spirits and spit three times…finally had to switch over to nightline as i couldnt stand to look at him any more..

and speaking of husbands..if i had married all the men i said i would …well, i’d still be getting the divorces…one time i was supposed to marry this guy, who was a nice enough guy and he loved my sons and had a good job….but everyone felt he was just not the one for me..i worked as a bartender at the palm gardens in portland oregon and my boss, the other bartenders and waitress’s thought he was wrong..wrong ..wrong…so they arranged to have me kidnapped by larry peirce…who was beginning to ring a few bells with me…so after work he asked to take me out for breakfast as my last meal as a single person…said what they hell, what could it hurt? huh huh…we went in his new shelby…and we had breakfast and he put me in his car and took off the opposite way from where my car was…i said what’s up? he said..its a surprise…he took me home with him and locked me in the house with him for 3 days…(my girlfriend had my sons for the wedding and honeymoon that i never went on)..after the second day of captivity i had him locked in ….so that was one wedding i never made it to…they said the groom to be waited at the church for 3 hours…finally someone told him i had run off with larry and he joined the merchant marines…and didnt see him again for 2 years…i think i did similar type things like that for about 3 other almost marriages…larry saved me from them all…the reason we never got married is…we were both scorpio’s and just exactly alike…which meant we were ok for fucking but that was about all…he was pretty funny though…every time he would come in the bar i would say “pierce..you wanna beer”.? and he would say “do fish fuck”…or “is there a nigger in okland..”…made him quit saying that last one before he started a fight with someone..wonder what ever happened to old larry…?

ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

October 25, 2005


everyone you speak to in all the stores or on the streets of west is a happy sumbitch…we are all sporting #22 signs on our assorted cars and trucks..all the store windows have go scott#22 on them…and eveyone had this big shit eating grin on their faces…scott and the chicago white sox have brought happiness and joy into our little town of drunk czech’s…its a good thing…today in the post office there were about 5 of us recounting every play of the 2 games, laughing and grinning…it’s fucking contagious…we is all happy…we would bitch a little about the cowboys but then it was oh, fuck them..lets talk about scott somemore…and to make it even better..the weather is wonderful…and my house is almost completely cleaned..have the bedroom almost done…and kitchen is done..and still working on bath and living room..but the house smells good. made a pot of beans and a pot of chili…rocky actually ate the canned cat food i got him this time and letterman even mentioned scott last night on his show..of course he kept mispronouncing his name but that’s ok..when he hits another home run to win the series he can have him on the show and scott can tell him in person how to pronounce his name..so all is good in my little world which naturally pisses me off…how the fuck can i scream and rant about anything if im in a good fucking mood? that sucks..happiness is not all that it is cracked up to be..ruins all my bitching time..oh well, im sure i can think of something…forest will fuck up …im waiting for him to go on some drunken coke binge and jump from the balcony of the white house…huh..huh…

PODSEDNEK RULES……..

October 24, 2005


i have been in quandry with the world series…im thrilled to death that houston is in the series…i love having a texas team in there and all my cousins and aunts that live in houston and the houstona area are huge fans of the astros…so i want them to win…BUT….#22 of the chicago white sox is Scott Podsednek of…………….you guessed it..west, by god texas….home town boy makes good…and couldnt be a nicer kid…just one of them really good kids…plus he is sorta kinda kin folk…he is my ex daughter in laws first cousin..which makes him second cousin to two of my granddaughters..nicole and haley…their mama cecilia is a dulock but her mama was a podsednek..got that…or as i like to say about folks here in west…kinfolk…kinfolk…we is all kinfolk…so i want scott to win…or his team so he can win…and after last night…they may do it..cause ole scotty boy hit a fucking home run to win the game..in case anyone missed it…it was fantastic…i was yelling and screaming and rocky was running for cover….between the cowboys and scott, im going to have a stroke yet…but was that exciting or what..and to think that was our very own little scott…its really a big deal..couldnt ask for a better person to represent west than scott…and i for one really needed something good to happen in sports after that fuck up the cowboys pulled sunday..assholes…man was i pissed…i bet ole parcells is still chewing on their asses….boy howdy…any way ..going to go light a candle for scott and one for the cowboys..they need all the help they can get…fuckers..

HE’S NOT KINKY ..HE’S MY GOVERNOR

October 24, 2005


thom my son who is still not speaking to me…bought me a bumper sticker while he was in san francisco visiting maryjo…a kinky friedman for governor bumper sticker..still not sure if i will vote for him or not..like i said..he voted for bush and still hangs out with laura on occasion..so that is not a good thing…just because she reads books does not make her a reliable person of note…she married the asshole and had those two white trash drunk daughters with him and you know some of that mean bitch shit rubbed off on her from forest’s mother..the queen of bitches…so he is going to have to talk to me about some issues before i throw away a vote for him…
i dont know how to feel this monday..im pissed about the cowboys loss which was soooo unavoidable…but thrilled about scott’s homerun and win…sooo i think i will play psycho bitch to day..be mean and nasty and happy all at the same time…that should fake out the natives…but more on the mean and nasty side as blogster is still fucked up…what a bunch of crap..think we should do a write in for them to hire barbara to help them fix this fucker…everyone email them to hire barbara..on the count of 3….

IMPOSTOR

October 24, 2005


dont know if this is kosher or not but im highly recommending a book and will quote from it too…title is “Impostor:How George W.Bush Bankrupted America and Betrayed the Reagan Legacy”…by Bruce Bartlett…
quote from book…
“The truth that is now dawning on many movement conservatives is that George W. Bush is not one of them and never has been. They were allies for a long time, to be sure, and conservatives used Bush just as he used them. But it now appears that they are heading for divorce.”

no shit sherlock…and for more proof of this:
“on Thursday, Manhattan’s districk attorney announced that a Virginia oil-trading ompany pleaded guilty to grand larcency in an oil-for-food program kickback scheme, and agreed to pay a $250,000 fine as part of the negotiations..”..(that is like me paying a .25 cent a day library fine…)this is just the tip of the ice burg of all the little deals made to help the rich get richer in bush’s little “lets invade iraq” and make money for my bidness cronies…another tip is the $20 ice tray…the pentagon paid $20 apiece for plastic ice cube trays that once cost it .85cents..it paid a supplier more than $81 apiece for coffeemakeers that it bought for years for just $29 from the manufacturer.That’s because instead of getting competive bids or buying directly from the manufacturers as it used to, the Pentagon is using middlemen who set their own prices. and its costing taxpayers 20 percent more than the old system. prime vendor sales increased from $2.3 billiion to $7.4 billion….and does anyone want to bet that they people frofitting fromt this little deal gave to the coffers of george or to his daddy..????fuck me til i clog dance..

MORE WIT AND WISDOM FROM FOREST

October 24, 2005


“THE QUESTIONNAIRE THAT SHE FILLED OUT IS AN IMPORTANT QUESTIONNAIRE, AND OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL ADDRESS THE QUESTIONS THAT THEY SENATORS HAVE IN THE QUESTIONNAIRE…OR AS A RESULT OF THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS IN THE QUESTIONNAIRE”..PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH, ON THE COMPLETED QUESTIONNAIRE HARRIET MIERS PROVIDED TO THE SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE….(WHITEHOUSE.GOV. OCT.20TH)doh????whatthefuck?????fuck me till i stuff mushrooms..