GOING TO TRY IT ONE MORE TIME..


i tell people all the time”take a good long look at this face..and tell me..does this look like a face that gives a shit?…
my earliest memories are of me getting my ass in trouble for speaking out…saying what i think even if no one wants to hear it..i was not born with that switch in your brain that relays your thoughts to a room where it is mulled over and edited before it continues the trip to your mouth..it was probably burnt out some time while i was in the womb..as i never remember having that ability ..if i thought it..i said it..and after wards i have been heard to say:”fuck, did i just say that outloud”….or “oh what the fuck was i thinking…”.well,doh…you werent jackisue…i have always had this weird sick sense of humor and have passed it on to 3 of my kids and aat least 2 of the grandkids…i have said things that i thought were soo fucking funny ..and have had people pissed at me for 15 years because..well, maybe it wasent funny TO THEM….oh well…anyone that has spent over 30 minutes in conversation will have figured out not to ask me what i think…cause i will tell you..you dont want to know what i think of that new puce dress with the navy blue collor and paid $100 for…dont fucking ask me…cause i will tell you that it may just be the ugliest fucking dress i have ever seen and yes, it does make your ass look big…dont show me a picture of your buck toothed 3 year old and say”isnt he cute?”..cause i will say…”man,i hope he has a big dick..cause with those gaps in his teeth he’s never going to get a girl on looks alone”…im not trying to be mean…you asked me what i thought…dont get pissed when i told you …along with my inability to keep my mouth shut .i also have the inability to lie…i cant lie for shit…my daddy found out at an early age that i was a lousy liar..”jackiesue..did you jump off the chicken coup and beat larrywayne in the head with a 2×4?”…
“uh…no daddy, uh…well, maybe i ..was..well, uh…yes, by god i did but he had it coming” so by the time i was 11-12 all daddy had to do was say “jackisue, look me in the eye and tell me the truth.” hell, i would freak out and confess to shit i had done in the first grade..now my inability to lie for myself does not transfer to telling a lie for friends.hell i can lie like a sonofabitch for my friends…”why fred, how could you think that mac would sleep with your wife while your at work? hell, mac was with me up at the bar til midnight and then we went to waco to ihop for breakfast(my second lie..i never went for breakfast after drinkin’ all night long..who wants to spend $30 to build up a good drunk and then go spend $3 to kill it..)i think mac had eggs and sausage with hash browns and i had eggs over medium with bacon and grits…we also ran into ruth and slim..you remember slim he ran that truck stop up in ross, fat bald chewed the cigars?”..hell, by then their eyes would have glazed over and rolled back in their head…yup…lie like a sonofabitch for my friend..”jackiesue where were you between midnight and 2am?”…”fucking yo boyfriend.bitch”…

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