YUP, I WAS A GIRL SCOUT


when we were in hawaii mother needed something to keep me out of trouble..for christmas i got a bike and i had named it blossom bailey roycroft and would take a snack of peanut butter, jelly sandwitches and some birdseed for pete. i would put my hair which came to my waist in a pony tail and flip the long end up thru rubber band again and pete would ride in my hair, it made a great nest for him..we would sneak out of the house at about 6:45 right after daddy went to work and i knew mother wouldnt rise and start bitching til 11 or so..in time to get up fix daddy’s lunch and act like she had been cleaning house all morning.. so i knew i wouldnt be missed for awhile..we would jump on ole blossom and ride across the base to the back fence and i had dug a huge hole under it and would push bike thru and get on “highway 1″(only one in hawaii, at the time) and pedal my little skinny ass to keeakee(dont know how to spell it but that was how we pronounced it)beach…where all the gi’s and girls hung out as it was the closest to the base…there were huge fat mama’s making lei’s and running food shacks…i would swim in the ocean all morning while pete hung in my pony tail and screaming fuck the yankees at the top of his little voice..he also could mimic my mothers voice and would give me a start every now and then by yelling in my mothers voice..”jackisue im going to whip your ass”..by this time mother and daddy had discovered i had made the slip again and would call out the ap’s(air police) and they would drive right to the beach and start looking for me..i had spotters all up and down the beach ..every gi knew me and the cussin’ bird as they called pete and would warn me..i would run to the mama’s and hide under their mumu’s…they were like omar’s tents…finally the police said they were just wasting time and could never catch me and it was up to mama and daddy to keep me under lock and key…i
enter…the girl scouts..mother figured that i would be kept busy enough that i would stay out of trouble…she should have known better…first weekend we went on a field trip and went to a sugar refinery..if you have never been, it is the most god awful smell in the world..right next to a rotting body… i didnt have my full uniform yet and was wearing the leaders little beanie cap…the smell was making me sick so i threw up in her hat…she didnt know me yet and took my word for it that it was just a bad reaction and i grabbed the first thing available…second weekend we went out to the lurilene a huge luxury liner…not as big as the QE-two but it was pretty damn big…i split off from the group almost immediately and went exploring..they found me 3 hours later in the crew’s kitchen learning how to shoot craps…by then i was good enough to have started winning money so was pretty pissed when they made me leave…by then the leader had my number…third weekend……….
huh huh…we went camping at this beautiful camp ground by a water fall….had tables under thatched roofs made of palm fonds..we unloaded all the food, and gear and the adults went off to decide about which cabins for which girls etc…the leader walked up to me and said what ever you do….dont start the fires yet…now either she knew the outcome of this adventure and had found a good way to get rid of me..or was just fucking stupid…because i made a campfire to roast marshmellows and burned down all the thatched roofs over all the tables..that was the extent of my being a girl scout…i went back to the beach…and pete and i spent every summer there for three years..

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