Archive for November, 2005

SET YOUR FAZERS ON STUNNING

November 30, 2005


RED ALERT ….RED ALERT….
PBS…DECEMBER 10TH..GUESS WHO IS COMING TO TOWN? TOM JONES…YES, MR. HIPS HISOWN SELF..
I LOVE TOM JONES…WHEN I WAS A YOUNG SWINGING CHICK..I HAD THE MAJOR HOTS FOR HIM..NOW THAT IM AN OLD BROAD I DONT HAVE THE ‘HOTS’ ANYMORE..BUT HE STILL WARMS THE COCKELS OF MY HEART…WHAT EVER THE FUCK COCKELS ARE…SO I WILL BE GLUED TO MY OLD RCA FOR OLE TOMMY BOY TO COME SWIVELING INTO MY LIVING ROOM SINGING ‘WHAT’S NEW PUSSY CAT’…BY THE WAY, SPEAKING OF MUSIC AND ALL…IF ANYONE CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ME A COPY OF HARLEM NOCTURNE BY THE VISCOUNTS I WOULD BE DEEPLY GRATEFUL…CANT FING IT ANY WHERE..BEST INSTUMENTAL EVER…GREAT SAX….
CAUGHT THE TAIL END OF A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO JOHNNY CASH LAST NIGHT ON PBS…WAS HOSTED BY JON VOIGHT…WHO WAS STILL WEARING THAT OLD RATTY TUX WITH THE SCUZZY WHITE SCARF THAT HE HAS WORN TO EVERY HOLLYWOOD EVENT SINCE HE FIRST WORE IT TO THE OSCAR’S WHEN HE WON ONE FOR MIDNIGHT COWBOY….JUDAS PRIEST JON.POP FOR A NEW TUX AND GET RID OF THAT FUCKING SCARF..YOU LOOK LIKE A HOMO MAFIA DON..ANY HOW THERE WAS SOME GREAT SONGS ON THE SPECIAL LAST NIGHT..KRIS KRISTOFFERSON SANG THE BALLAD OF IRA HAYES.. WILLI, LYLE, JUNE, ROSEANNE, EMMY LOU, SHERLY, ETC..WAS PRETTY SPECIAL…SPECIALL..

DID ANYONE SEE ON TV WHERE THE GUY RAN OUT ON THE FIELD AT THE EAGLES STADIUM AND SCATTERED HIS MOTHER’S ASHES ALL OVER THE PLACE..SEEMS SHE WAS A BIG EAGLE FAN AND HE WANTED HER ASHES TO GO WITH THE EAGLES….HEY, I LOVE THE COWBOYS JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVED HER EAGLES..BUT IF YOUR GOING TO SCATTER MY ASHES ON THE STADIUM WHERE MY TEAM PLAYED..AT LEAST DO IT DURING A WINNING SEASON..NOT WHEN THEY ARE SUCKING THE AIR OUT OF THE PLACE…I STILL PREFER TO HAVE MY ASHES SCATTERED OVER A FIELD OF BLUEBONNETS…FROM A KFC BUCKET…

Advertisements

EARLY PULLOUT

November 30, 2005


BUSH IS STILL RUNNING AROUND THE COUNTRY WHINING ABOUT EARLY PULL OUT AND HOW IT IS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO…WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ON THAT SUBJECT IS…I WISH THAT HIS DADDY HAD USED EARLY PULL OUT WHEN HE WAS GOING AFTER OLDE BARBARA, AND WE WOULDNT EVEN BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION…FUCK ME TILL IM SQUEAKY CLEAN

NAZI POPE

November 30, 2005


I see where the nazi pope has declared that men with “deep sexual” homosexual tendencies should not be allowed to become priests…fuck me till I say “bless me father for I have sinned”…if they had spent as much time talking over and discussing the “deep seated” pediphile tendencies for the priests already in action..and stop covering up said actions and shipping them off to some out of the way Latin American country to continue their little tendencies, they wouldnt even have to bother worrring about the homosexuals in the priesthood..i would feel a lot safer with a child getting “blessed” by a homosexual than one of the pediphile’s they have stashed away…the catholic church is becomming so out of touch with the main stream of cathollics..im surprised there are any left…and the cases of aids and sexual deseases that are being transmitted everyday to greater and greater numbers just because the church doesnt want them to use birth control…I could go on and on about this subject but when I get thru my ass hurts and my jaw aches from clenching my teeth…bah humbug..

JACKIESUEISM’S

November 30, 2005


Since an early age I have had the great ability to fuck up the english language..twist expressions, get song lyrics wrong…just a special knack that I have…Like when I was a kid and when we would have special sunday dinners, thanksgiving, christmas etc.. I would always say grace…and it was always the same one because i thougth I said it so well…”dear God, thank you for this food which we are bound to receive, amen.”…my parents never said a word..just said amen and got on with the eating…i now know that the prayer said something about the bounty we were about to receive..but hey..I was just a kid..then I was always singing songs..and not necessarily the way rogers and hart had meant them to be sung..like Nat King cole’s song Mona Lisa….my version was “mona lisa, mona lisa men have made you….”…unlike the original verse of “men have named you…”..hey..I was just a kid…But now I say things like frajitas…flusterated and if some one gives me directions while I am driving and recommend that I go straight…I always say..”forward…I go forward..I will never go straight”…..

MOJO’S PICS

November 29, 2005











This is soonerfan78, I have commandeered the goddess’s blog to post some pics of her daughter Mary Jo and her significant other Rolf. This has been one of Jackiesue’s biggest wishes. I hope you all enjoy them as much as Jac will.

RIBBONS ON TRUCKS

November 29, 2005

well i got a ribbon for my truck…it is black and says..”enough with the ribbons”….looks good on my little white mazda..waiting for someone to take it off or mention it to me…i love fucking with the natives…

this is for soap opera lovers only…..if you dont watch or have never watched soaps..you wont get this post or give a shit…so there..

I’m confused…i don’t know who is who any more and what soap I am watching..
There is some strange woman playing cassie on guiding light…the actress who played cassie is not playing carly on general hospital…and that carly was the 3rd one to play her.. so now this is the 4th…Ross is gone from guiding light and is playing clint on one life to live…the old Bell from days of our lives is now the new sister on general hospital..the actor who played old man quartermane is now playing mickey on days of our lives as the old mickey retired…and the guy that played don on days of our lives is the new old man quartermane…plus ther are three fucking romans on days of our lives…the original roman is playing some doctor, the second roman is john black and the third roman is actually chris kolechek… and they are all chasing after marlena who has fucked them all and cant make up her mind…im getting a head ache..fuck me til im a rerun….

something that made me laugh….KWAMI from Ghana is the new next great ski medalist…they call him the snow leopard…he is a skiing demon…ah jez..there is a goddess and she is laughing her ass off at us…FUCK ME TIL I CAN SKI….

POST 2

November 29, 2005


I love my little mazda truck and the fact that i dont go anywhere…i go from the house to the store, library and other little places right here in town or to the granddaughters house and back…so 2 months ago when the gas was higher than a cat’s back i filled up the truck ..cost me nearly $50…almost had a real stroke and not that wussy little mini stroke…so this month…(2 months later) i filled up the mazda again..and still had an 8th of a tank left….drove 2 months on a tank of gas…this time in only cost me $30 to fill her up…such a deal…do i get my money’s worth or what…huh huh..

was talking to a friend the other day and some how my wild drinking days came up and i told her..I wouldnt say that i drank a lot..but my urine sample came with a water chaser…she is still laughing…

I noticed something the other day…i was watching ellen on tv..usually dont watch her as im at library when she comes on…but was friday i guess…anyhow..you know as i have brought it to your attention more than once..the insane christian rights who are so totally against gays…they hate gays..dont want them to have sex..marry or adopt..or anything that anyone else gets to do…well, if they hate them so much and there are so many of them out there…how come ellen is so popular??? doh..she’s gay folks…yet she is right up there next to oprah, one of the most popular people on tv…i dont understand it..i mean im glad they love her..i love her..she is great..funny…a good person..but she is still gay..so how did she slide..? why does she get to be gay and be loved..and not the rest of the gay people..who i know are just as sweet, funny and kind as she is…the goddess says get your shit together..make up your mind…

AMERICA’S BORDERS BY THE NUMBERS

November 29, 2005


7,000 MILES OF U.S. BORDER WITH MEXICO AND CANADA
416 MILLION PEOPLE CHECKED AT PORTS OF ENTRY, CITIZEN AND NON-CITIZENS
550,000 ILLEGAL ENTRIES THWARTED IN 2005
160,000 APPREHENSIONS OF OTHER-THAN-MEXICAN (OTM”S) ILLEGAL CROSSERS IN 2005
219 PERCENT INCREASE IN OTM APPREHENSIONS FROM 2004
80 PERCENT CHANCE THAT AN OTM WAS RELEASED DUE TO SHORTAGE OF JAIL BEDS
155,000 ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARRESTED IN THE INTERERIOR OR BY FUGITIVE UNITS
13.9 MILLION U.S. HOUSEHOLDS HEADED BY AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT IN 2004
29 PERCENT OF THE 36 MILLION IMMIGRANTS TO THE U. S. ARE HERE ILLEGALLY
460 PEOPLE DIED IN THE DESERT AFTER CROSSING ILLEGALLY, IN FISCAL 2005, A RECORD
4,900 BORDER PATROL AGENTS IN FISCAL 1995
11,200 BORDER PATROL AGENTS TODAY(1,500 MORE BEING HIRED OR TRAINED)
1.2 MILLION APPREHENSIONS OF IMMIGRANTS IN FISCAL YEAR 1995 WHO CROSSED THE SOUTHWEST BORDER ILLEGALLY
1.2 MILLION APPREHENSIONS OF IMMIGRANTS IN 2005 WHO CROSSED THE SAME BORDER ILLEGALY….

IS THAT SOME SCARY SHIT OR WHAT???

NEW RULES BY BILL MAHER

November 28, 2005


i know this is illegal and they can throw my ass in jail for printing stuff from his book..but i yafta…its just too funny..was on page 14 and had already laughed out loud at each and every page…
bawl game ..new rule..
stop wallowing, several years after 9/11, ball parks still insist on a giant seventh inning buzzkill with a somber rendition of “God Bless America”. There’s a thin live between loving america and stalking it..Please, we’ve already said the national anthem now let me honor america the right way:by getting drunk on over priced beer and yelling obscenities at millionaires on steroids..

AROMATIC TRANSMISSIONS
no, we don’t need a hummer cologne. Yes, hummer is now also a men’s fragrance. They say the scent is a masculine combination of leather, sandalwood and a bald man’s tiny cock.It’s also great cologne for gay guys:you put it on and , before you know it, your’re rolling over.

BUSH WHACK..NEW RULE
George W. Bush must stop saying he owes all his success to Laura. George Bush owes all his success to his daddy, his daddy’s rich friend’s, trust funds, legacy admissions, the national guard, the supreme court, Karl Rowe, Dick Cheney, and AA.

CHIEF WANNA BE..NEW RULE
If you have to tell me what fracture of you is N. American, you’re not really an Indian.There is a word for people who claim to be one-quarter Indian…Puerto Rican…

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR..NEW RULE
Don’t talk to me about desperate housewives..If I had the slightest interest in other people’s sex lives, I’d be a republican.

ONLY BEGOTTEN SON
NEW RULE

If you have to have to set up a big screen tv and show the daytona 500 to get people to your church in Fredericksburg,Tenn. then your flock is not worshipping Jesus, their worshipping Dale Earnhard, Jr. and there’s a difference:one is the son of God, and the other died on a cross for your sins..

ok that is enough of a teaser..go out and buy the book..you can read it in under 2 hours….and laugh your ass off…..

WEST STATION NEWS..

November 28, 2005


on december the 4th we are going to be celebrating Scott Podsednik’s world series win..like he did it all on his own..well, he did win that one game with the home run…anyhow we are having a celebration in the west high school auditorium.each person is allowed to bring one thing for him to autograph..and there will be some photo’s for people to get autographed also..pretty cool..he has been back 2 times i think since the series and autographs anything for everybody..they sold one of his autographed balls (baseballs).. for a charity and it raised $800 …so this is a big deal..we are all so proud of him..there will be 500 tshirts for sale to help with expenses..they go for $8…the money will go to the west league booster club..go…scotty…
sykora famiy ford won its 8th or 9th award for family business founders award..the entire family works there..which is about 13 of them…
our toy drive is underway…and we had the thanksgiving meal for the folks of west..have it every year..i was supposed to volunteer..but had alergies and took 2 pills instead of my normal one and slept for 12 hours…woke up in time to watch the cowboys lose to denver..doh..
we have one new birth, 5 birthdays, one anniversary of 50 years..and 2 deaths..
50 years ago this month they held a dinner for senator lyndon b. johnson…and what is kinda weird about it is that it is the first since his midsummer heart attack..now who knew or remembered that he had had heart trouble before he actually had one and died of it..??hmmm…
the lady trojans are starting their basketball season..and supposed to have another good team…they win almost every year..our girls are better at sports than the guys are…
community grocery has gizzards on sale for .99 lb..i love gizzards…turkeys are still. .59 a lb..but still have a 20 lber in the freezer…starting to get a turkey neck from all the turkey i have eaten..but have made such great soups with it..noodles and turkey..turkey with rice..turkey tacos…turkey turkey turkey..fuckme no more turkey..
oophs back to the city of west…going to get my dream book from the lady that works for the newspaper and look up moving furniture for chatty….actually there isnt much going on in west..this week…will hold off on writing more til we have the scott podsednik’s party….