Archive for December, 2005

LAST CALL (BY DAVE VAN RONK)

December 31, 2005

LAST CALL
and so we’ve had another night
of poetry and poses
and each man knows he’ll be alone
when the sacred ginmill closes.

and so we’ll drink the final glass
each to his joy and sorrow
and hope the numbing drunk
will last til opening tomorrow.

and when we stumble back again
like paralytic dancers
each knows the questions he must ask
and each man knows the answers.

and so we’d drink the final drink
that cuts the brain in sections
where answers do not signify
and there aren’t any questions.

I broke my heart the other day.
It will mend again tomorrow.
If I’d been drunk when I was born
I’d be ignorant of sorrow.

and so we’ll drink the final toast
that neve r can be spoken:
Here’s to the heart that is
wise enough

to know when it’s better off broken..


finally found it…..happy new year..love jackie

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DECEMBER 31,2005 IN WEST, BY GOD, TEXAS

December 31, 2005


Lots of excitement in west this week. The citizens are in an uproar…the Union Pacific blocked 2 of the main streets in West that connect one side to the next for 12 hours. Czech’s were pissed off. The Mayor wrote a letter to raise hell after trying to reach someone all that day. They basically ignored him..The Chief of Police ticketed them, but that is just the 7th time he has done so this year.The fine is $300 and is nothing to them. The school’s were all in an uproar as they had to reroute bus’s that were taking kids home. Parents were freaking out when their kids weren’t home when they were supposed to be.The city had to close one of the crossings because they wouldn’t spend the money to fix one of the tracks to Jupe Mills who uses the track and the off shoot..So that is another complete rerouting of a train to a local business because they are cheap bastards. They have been mad at us for 25 years when the town kids raided one of the cars that sat there over night and wasn’t supposed to..It was full of Schlitz tall boys..Every kid in West was drunk and hungover for 3 weeks or better. Mine included…Neither of the boys will drink Schlitz to this day. So I am anxiously waiting to see what happens…Bet the next time that fucking train blocks our two main streets some drunk Czech (or sober old broad) does something naughty to their train. I am thinking something along the line of a big graffiti sign that says “union pacific are a bunch of cocksuckers”…
The West VFW4819 sold its building to one of the West business’s so they can build a Sonic(mcdonalds, jackinthebox, tacobell whataburger???????)so they are looking for a new building and the vets and spouses are pissed cause now they have no place to play bingo…
We have had 4 deaths, 2 engagements, i birthday and one couple is celebrating their 60th anniversary. There is an absolutely beautiful victorian house for sale out in Tokio on 1 acre of land.$199,900. I have seen it for years and always wanted to buy it…wish I would win the lottery..love that house.The front of the house is just beautiful with wrap around porch.
The paper is running a month by month recap of what happened in West this past year, would rehash it,but I do it weekly so think that is enough..
Think I will put on my Luke the Drifter tshirt and go hunt me up some bluebell ice cream. Need it to wash down the black eyed peas…see you next year…..love jac

PETA PUTZ

December 31, 2005


I know that most of you are animal lovers and don’t wish to see them harmed or mistreated and believe that PETA is the group tp save them. A nineteen year old PETA staffer has legally changed his name to Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com.
He changed his name in support of the PETA’s anti-KFC campaign…Why didn’t he just change his name to “Fucking Idiot?”..It would be much easier on all of us..I think PETA has become a bunch of nazi’s that take great pleasure in terrorizing company’s that don’t toe the line.I am against PETA for one main reason…They don’t believe any pit bull should be saved and advocate putting them down if they have been rescued from a fight.That is their policy…I would like to state that they can kiss my pit bull loving ass…I think they should be put down…They have already moved all the pits out of Denver or killed them…Oh, yeah, that’s really compassionate…I bet they voted for forest gump.
fuck me till I arf.

MY FINAL NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION….

December 31, 2005


I promise to try and be a good mother, grandmother and friend.I will remain steadfast and loyal to those I love. Will remain relentless in my effort to hunt down lies and the liars that tell them,to the ends of the earth and make their lives as misserable as humanly possible. To always show love and respect to the Goddess and all that follow her.
To spread laughter and the occasionaly giggle.To never take life or living seriously.I will try to be a good human being.Try to be kind and generous to the less fortunate and to come to their aid when ever possible.Light candles for my friends and family that are in need of divine intervention from the Goddess. Most of all to know that I can’t please everybody and in knowing that,to make pleasing myself as painless as possible for others. If these resolutions fail to please you….well……go fuck yourself…
HAPPY NEW YEAR……………..

DID I POST THIS OR DID I DREAM I POSTED IT

December 30, 2005


I swear, I am either in the early stages of old farts desease or…..I am in the early stages of older farts desease..I was sure I did a post on my trip to THE HOUSE OF SATAN, or as you all call it Wal-Mart…Got gift cirtificate for Christmas and wanted to get it over with as soon and as fast as possible..I am the type of shopper that knows what they want and go in and get it and go home.I don’t fuck around, especially in THE HOUSE OF SATAN.So I hauled my ass the 17 miles to Bellmead where the nearest HOUSE OF SATAN is and grabbed a cart and off I went..Went directly to the dairy aisle and grabbed the big fat container of non-fat plain yogurt, zipped over to the shoe dept and grabbed a pair of 71/2 wide(have damaged nerve in right leg and foot and need room or my foot hurts really bad.)tennis shoes…tried on the right one..fit..threw shoes in basket…went to sewing area and snatched up some embrodery thread so I can make my friendship bracelets, looked at some nascar material looking for something that had matt or another of babs favorites on it..nope…so went to the fat womens dept…grabbed up a 48-dd bra..a package of panties in “man is your ass big” size..went to cat food dept. got some canned food that Rocky loved yesterday but will probably will hate the next day( i was right) and to stationary dept. and got a thingy of scotch tape for my football book.Went to 20 or less register, ran my gift card through…went to truck and got $5 worth of gas…I had .04 left on my card…was back in west in under 45 minutes….now that is a power shopper….Told you…I don’t fuck around….shopping is all business…I be the shopping champion…
fuck me till I ring up “no sale”….

PHONE CALL FROM MOJO

December 30, 2005


Maryjo called and we had a nice long chat.She is doing well, and said we should rent a dvd called “what the bleep to we know?”…said espicially the people that suffer from depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc. Said it is a yafta….so there..run right out and rent it.I tried but video in west doesnt have it so will have to go to (ack) waco to get it..She also relayed a story about one of her friends here in waco..well, actually Mt. Calm(were Koresh and the davidians had their last stand)…anyhow…he had got pissed and quit his job..mojo was doing the good friend..”oh that’s too bad, sorry to hear that, what are you going to do?” etc. and he said “i don’t sweat the small stuff mojo…as long as I have a hot link and a nap…I dont give a fuck…”….well, we decided that may be the funniest thing we have heard in a month….my new motto…
also taking this opppurnity to wish babs a very merry happy cool sleep filled birthday…

MY FOURTH RESOLUTION

December 30, 2005


4…..I resolve not to drink, do drugs, smoke or have sex. Unless these following men become available.
1.Brad Pitt
2.Antonio Banderas
3.Craig Bierko
4. David Letterman
5.Angelina Jole…(I may not be a lesbian but even I think she’s hot)

THIRD NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

December 30, 2005


I promise to be more tolerant and understanding of the Bush Administration and of the President himself…
oops, broke that one already.

DO BEARS SHIT IN THE WOODS? IS THE POPE A WOMAN?

December 30, 2005


Did anyone see the tv show last night on the supposed rumor that there was a female Pope? It was pretty interesting.But then I was bored.anyhow…..I went on line to check it out and there are kazillions hits on her…Pope Joan…One story is she went from being a notary to a curie to a cardinal to the pope.hmmmm. Then she went on a horse ride and gave birth to a baby where every one freaked out seing the pope give birth and they tied her to the hair of the horse and dragged around the city, stoned to death by the mob, and was buried at the place where she died.Depending on the story the baby was either killed or not…there are many different stories with different time frames, etc. but pretty interesting any how…going to read up on it some more…went the catholic encyclopedia and they have a lot of information on her..thougth it would give you something to do when you got bored..I am still in charge of intertainment aren’t I?
fuck me till I have my own reality show

BUSHIES…..

December 30, 2005


Found on AOL this list of forest gump’s bloopers and you were to vote on your favorite…Now am I nuts here or what(ok, we know I am nuts but this is a different kind of nuts)..but isn’t it fucking scary when we are so cavalier about the fact that our president makes so many fuckup’s that we not only joke about them, we even have polls to see which one is the best fuckup? JUDAS FUCKING PRIEST. Enough to piss of the pope.That said..here’s the list..but before we get to the list of forest gump fuckup’s…I declare the expression “Brownie,you’re doing a heck of a job.”…our expression for when someone does something so stupid, it is beyond the pale of stupidity…we can vote on that later..

the first one of course is the brownie quote…they get better…or worse…

“Those who enter the country illegally violate the law.”..describing illegal immigrants .
“In terms of time tables, as quickly as possible..whatever that means.:”…on his schedule for passing social security legislation .
“This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous and having said that, all options are on the table.”on invading Iran.
“I think I may need a bathroom break.Is this possible?”.in a note to secretary of state Condoleeza Rice during a .sept. U.N. Security Council meeting.
“Brownie, your’re doing a heck of a job.:”

I can’t pick…they are all just soooo good……or bad,as the case may be…


I am not sure I am going to be able to take this for 3 more years…not without doing jail time for protesting, giving the finger to him, threatening to kick his ass or tresspassing with the intent to tar and feather…
fuck me till it rains