DONT EVER USE DHL…TO SHIP PACKAGES…


I’m so pissed I don’t know if I should spit or go blind…cousin Bruce calls me monday am and says package is on the way..shipped it out dhl..(they call it doohickeyline) and is coming out over night…it is now thursday and no sign of the fuckers…man is he going to get his ass ate out when he comes stolling into my yard..now is when I wish I still had the hugeass pitbull dogs…Nate would have made him regret his tardiness…groowl…arf bark..
I am working on my list of new years resolutions…don’t know why I bother..never do any of them…but love making up the list…
I am curious and maybe one of you can help me with this…there is a beautiful movie out called memoirs of a geisha and I read the book and loved it…now here’s the hard part..why is a book about japanese geisha’s made into a movie about japanese geisha’s being played by chinese people?….I know there must be a good reason..but for the life of me I can’t figure it out…are there no Japanese actors? nothing against the chinese people..but puleese….this is just wrong in so many ways…its worse than putting slanting eyes on white people and having them play the parts…wrong wrong…fucking wrong..this is one movie I wont see…stupid people…
something else I have been wondering about for a long time..after the Letterman show comes the late late show with craig fergurson..the scot’s guy…so what ever happened to the guy that was there before him? his name was craig something or another…right?..anyhow he quit the show and walked off into the sunset…fine..but what the fuck ever happened to him..? its like he disappeared..I thought before he left that he looked awfully thin and could be ill..but not a word..you would think that on at least one of the many show biz tv shows someone would say..hey we saw craig today at bong’s resturant..or at some movie opening..or something..nope..he’s gone…any one have a clue…? d’oh..
well, I am at the library still surround by little fuckers out of school for the holidays..and for some reason I have been getting some raunchy emails(thanks sooner) and these kids are going to be growing up to fast if they keep looking over my shoulder…the boys that I turned on to sooner’s blogsite said that he was the funniest person in the world…I think we should start a sooner’s fan club…memeberships..stickers for our cars, tshirts with a “sooner says fuck you”..on it…we could hold meetings just like aa does…hello..my name is jackie..im a sooner fan”…
I also told my granddaughter Jennifer when she came over the other night that instead of being cremated like I had decided(Jamie threw a hissy fit) that I would be buried like they wanted..but only one one condition…that in the coffin I was to be giving the finger…I had to have my right hand shaped into giving the finger..didn’t care if they had to break my fingers to do it..It was to be my last wish…Jennifer nearly died laughing..said I was a disgusting Granma but she would make sure it would happen…want to be buried in my least ratty looking cowboys shirt and wearing no underwear..with my converse tennie shoes…giving the finger…now that’s my idea of being dead and having the last word…maybe even have a hand giving the finger on my head stone..along with “your standing on my fucking head…move”…on it too…
I have entirely too much time on my hands…
hope the next post will be from the house..if not…see you next tuesday..
merry fucking christmas…jac

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3 Responses to “DONT EVER USE DHL…TO SHIP PACKAGES…”

  1. texlahoma Says:

    Man,you really got to typing on that one! I promise to never ever use DHL.

  2. apositivepessimist Says:

    so where do i order one of dem teeshirts?

    i love the death pose. you should ask fer one of them glass coffin like display cases. you could be propped up beside the alter fer all to marvel at.

  3. Aurelius Says:

    More power to the YellowDawg Granny! Your mastery of the word fuck has even an avowed member of clan profanicus impressed.

    Part of me is still honestly hoping that you are not a real grandma, the media wall of bullshit just makes that connection so difficult for me to get my head around. I just don’t have any real world examples to confirm that such language and levels of understanding are ever manifest amongts the elder crowd. I hope I’m where you are at when I get to that point in life’s one-way street.

    Stay groovy, I’m hooked on this blog.

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