LOCAL UPS DRIVER


When I was in the library Tuesday to check out some new books the UPS driver was in there..I told him that I had received a package for Christmas and by the time the neighbors and the stupid driver fucked it up I had to wait almost a week for the package..Told him I called my girlfriend who sent the package to not send me packages unless it was through UPS as the driver knew me and where I lived.Now I have not seen the driver in probably a year and he looked at me for a minute and said…Nate…you had the big pit bull dog Nate. I love little towns..Nate scared the crap out of almost everyone but he made friends with the UPS driver right off the bat..would get all excited when he saw the truck in town..he always brought Nate a treat and the way to Nate was through his stomach.He weighed 110 lbs..Nate’s best trick was the pit bull dog mating act. Which was Nate laying on his back and wiggling back and forth making aroullll type noises for about 15 minutes..It was a way to scratch his back Im sure, but he did it better, longer and for greater distances than any dog I have ever seen..He would start at one end of the yard and by the time he got through wiggling and squirming back and forth it would be about 15 minutes and he was at the other end of the yard…but the noises he made were hysterical..translated the noises would be in english..”oh god, that feels good, oh ohooooohooohooo yes, oh man..a little over here where the rocks are…oh yes..ohoohohhhhh, now over where the soft grass is, ahh ok, that’s it. yes, oh baby…well, you get the idea..
fuckme till I hollar oh baby..

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5 Responses to “LOCAL UPS DRIVER”

  1. Babs Says:

    UPS delivered my Barnes and Noble order today. To the fucking apartment office. Damn fuckers are too lazy to walk up my stairs. Didn’t even leave a notice where my package was. Had to go on-line to track it.
    Oh well, it was Christmas gift certificate money. I’ll pick it up next time I’m awake when the office is open. The two events happening at the same time are remote.

  2. Nit Wit Says:

    The Post Office admits to loseing 1 billion pieces of mail every year. I think it’s higher. If UPS lost a fraction of that they would be out of business. The Post office keeps raising the cost for me to mail a letter, but third class mail hasn’t been raised is many many years. That’s junk mail and that comes from big business. If they raised it by a nickel they would not operate in the red anymore and we would see a marked drop in junk mail. Sorry about the rant.

  3. Ann Says:

    I hated the UPS when I was in Montana. They were so fucking lazy. For example, I would have an item addressed to my mother in law’s house, and they delivered it to the Pizza Pro- the restaurant that they no longer worked at, but my father in law’s brother still owned. The fuckers wouldn’t go out to the ranches- they’d just leave the packages in the school office for the kids to pick up and take home.

  4. Scottish Toodler Says:

    I MUST know– what kind of pit that weighs over one hundred pounds? I live with a Pitt Rott and she is heavy at 70 lbs (for a pitt– not for a rottweiler).

  5. Erik Mann Says:

    I was looking for blogs referring to Dallas and found yours. Great blog! I’m in Dallas and here’s some info about me

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