When I was in the library Tuesday to check out some new books the UPS driver was in there..I told him that I had received a package for Christmas and by the time the neighbors and the stupid driver fucked it up I had to wait almost a week for the package..Told him I called my girlfriend who sent the package to not send me packages unless it was through UPS as the driver knew me and where I lived.Now I have not seen the driver in probably a year and he looked at me for a minute and said…Nate…you had the big pit bull dog Nate. I love little towns..Nate scared the crap out of almost everyone but he made friends with the UPS driver right off the bat..would get all excited when he saw the truck in town..he always brought Nate a treat and the way to Nate was through his stomach.He weighed 110 lbs..Nate’s best trick was the pit bull dog mating act. Which was Nate laying on his back and wiggling back and forth making aroullll type noises for about 15 minutes..It was a way to scratch his back Im sure, but he did it better, longer and for greater distances than any dog I have ever seen..He would start at one end of the yard and by the time he got through wiggling and squirming back and forth it would be about 15 minutes and he was at the other end of the yard…but the noises he made were hysterical..translated the noises would be in english..”oh god, that feels good, oh ohooooohooohooo yes, oh man..a little over here where the rocks are…oh yes..ohoohohhhhh, now over where the soft grass is, ahh ok, that’s it. yes, oh baby…well, you get the idea..
fuckme till I hollar oh baby..
LOCAL UPS DRIVER