If you get up from your computer and walk to your door and open it up and stick your head out and listen really hard…you will be able to hear me screaming at the top of my lungs…it sounds something like this:’YOU LYING MOTHERFUCKER…..YOU LEARNED ABOUT HOW DIRE THE CIRCUMSTANCES WERE AT NEW ORLEANS BY WATCHING TV? YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLE, WHAT ABOUT THE EMAILS AND PHONE CALLS FROM YOUR ‘CRONIES’…YOU ONE LAYERED DIPSHIT. YOU DON’T THINK THERE WILL BE CIVIL WAR IN IRAQ? ASSWIPE..THERE IS ONE GOING ON RIGHT NOW. THE POLES ARE UP THE POLES ARE DOWN, IT DOSEN’T MATTER….IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT 3/4’S OF THE NATION THINK YOU SUCK, BITE AND BLOW? IN BETWEEN EVERY OTHER WORD..THERE IS A PRIMAL SCREAM……DIM WITTED MOTHER FUCKER..ARAGHGHGHHHHHGHGHGHGHHHGHH FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK….
ok, I feel a little better now…I swear to the Goddess if I wouldn’t disappoint so many people I would go out and get roaring drunk…actually I am more concerned about what i might do if I was under the influence…Thank the Goddess there is a 7 day wait to buy guns….I can just see me getting all liquored up, buying a gun and getting arrested at the outskirts of the city limit of the’ranch'(its not a ranch….it has no crops and no livestock except for them two woolly fucking dogs…so its a COMPOUND…)at Crawford…
oh Jesus, he just said he doesn’t have compassion for the boys that date his daughterS..but you should have heard the dead voice he used to say ‘no, I don’t have any compassion.”………………..NO SHIT DICK TRACY…..WE SAW THAT DURING KATRINA……family is an important part of civilization….Jesus, the prince of understatement..Just how far down the line do we have to go to get to a democrat…??
It is another beautiful Texas day…..I went to community grocery store and bought stuff to make more stew…but think I will make a meat ball soup instead…and making homemade pizza for tonight…Went to West Hardware store and got stuff to fix my electric plug as it was burnt out by ac this summer and even though I don’t use it except for the ac I need to fix it now…also got innards for the toilet and will fix it..also got some sweet basil seeds and tomato seeds…going to grow them indoors and then plant them in pots out side when they get bigger..also got some grease cleaner (got it free and the basil seeds as the cleaner leaked on it and he said if I didn’t take it he would have to throw it away , so got it for free)..going to clean all the walls and prep the bed room walls and paint them….think i will pick the deep (ox-blood, sorta) red out of the indian carpet and do the walls and then match the tan in the carpet for the trim…but need to level the house before I start on the walls…I also need to change the oil in the truck…Thom had offered a while back to pay to have it done but I like changing the oil in my truck…I use castrol and like to put in my own plugs and gap them myself…Jackie of all trades…………..mistress of none..
Oh, man….you just missed seeing Rocky in action…he almost got a dove…I have several doves that are here all the time and Rock is bound and deteremined to get one…but he hasen’t yet….they are pretty smart..and as fast as he is…he’s getting old and slowing down…he spent most of the day out in yard sunning and napping..came in and slept on my chair…with body on the hump part of the back and his left legs hanging off on one side and the right legs on the other….and head hanging off the end…looked like a throw pelt…
Going to go clean up the kitchen so I can start on my peperoni, sausage, onion, black olive, mushroom, bell pepper, jalopena and double cheese pizza…oh and did I mention it was 83 out today…………..nana nana booboo…stick your head in doodoo…
Archive for February, 2006
One of the great things about your ass draggin’ (or it is in the case of my ass)….is you can also dust the floor while it’s draggin..kind of a two for one deal..I finally went to the laundry….and I am whipped…My back is killing me, my feet hurt and I am generally feeling like I have been hauled behind a pickup truck down a gravel road. Laundy sucks..blows and bites…But I am going to put on clean sheets, take a shower and do the Tabu dusting spraying again.. That will keep Rocky away….every time I use Tabu, he sneezes…would be only fitting that my cat is alergic to me…hahahahh…
I’m still reading double tap by Martini and don’t know if it is me or the book…but just can’t get with it..kinda sorta boring….but will plow through….
While I was in town waiting for my laundry to dry I went to our local used shit store..
Caritas….I have some small wooden tables that I want to refinsh and decopauge(sp).so bought some children’s books with great art work…were .25 a peice..will cut the pictures out and paste them on crackled tables…pictures of Narnia, Winnie the Pooh, and one with just pretty art work…babies in nests kind of thing. Give me something to do when the weather is nice like this..
I am going to crawl over to the chair and rest my weary ass……but at least I accomplished something today….
fuckme till I’m folded and put away.
Sang to the tune of Tomorrow…..ahhh, there is nuttin’ better than Texas Sunshine……looking out my door..which if you’re wondering how I can do this as my computer and damn near everything else is in the bedroom…it’s easy. This is one of those old houses with two doors…one for the living room and the bedroom has a door too. I am not sure what the reason is ..but lots of these old houses have two doors…Every since I had all the back operations I have limited my living to the one room and use the living room for storage of all my books, knick nacks, assorted crap….so my computer is right by the door and I can look out and watch Rocky play kitty opposum and lure the birds into the yard and then try to snag them.Normally he would be out there doing his ‘dead cat ‘ act but he got into a cat fight last night and had cat urine all over and I had to give him a bath..and then sprayed him with Tabu and he is so pissed that he is hunkered down on my bed refusing to have anything to do with me. man is he pissed…but he smells so good..ha..The yards are starting to turn green and there are iris’s blooming by my house.So it is a beautiful day in West …….days like this I just feel sorry for anyone that doesn’t live here. The only draw back to this lovely day is……………………….I have to do fucking laundry. I don’t want to…I have to…I am wearing a tshirt that advertises “zeke’s social club in Hillsboro, Texas..a place no longer in business..and it is damn near the last clean tshirt I have and that is saying alot because I probably own one of the largest collections of tshirts in Texas..my idea of getting duded up to go out is a tshirt that has no paint stains on it..this tshirt is so old the shirt actually says ‘ekes ocial lub’..the letters have rubbed off…Ok….I’ve stalled long enough….time to haul my ass and the 4 baskets full of dirty clothes to the laundry mat…..I will be back later on whimpering about how my back hurts…hope it’s sunny and bright where you are…..
“Mom, stop pacing the floor, your going to wear out your new cowboy boots.”…I could hear my daughter, Maryjo’s voice but it was just a humming in my ear..I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. What was I going to say? Would all my friends be there?..I couldn’t stand it any longer..I had to peek thru the curtains…….and yes, they were…Bab’s, Denise and Sooner right in the front row..where in the Goddess’s name did Sooner get a red double S embossed Red And White tuxido? Will the world know that it stands for Super Sooner?ah, who gives a fuck ..me, Babs and Denise know..Babs looks so beautiful in her new green dress..who knew that she could teach the roaches to sew? And Denise rocks in her dress of many colors. Oh man, this is just going to be nerve wracking, as I still don’t know how to thank Toodle’s for this great award…and to follow in the glittery footsteps of BWG, well, that is an honor in itself..”Mom, they just called your name….listen to the applause.”…..(from the stage…and here we have ladies and gentlemen……our very own winner of the Toodler Award…………….Jackiesue Denney……..)
Ok, I’m walkin out to the stage in my brand new Dallas Cowboy tshirt, brand new jeans and custom made boots with the Dr.Pepper emblem on one and Blue Bell emblem on the other……………….and here I am….and what do I say:
“FUCKME TILL I WEAR TOTESACK DRAWERS…”
I finished Iron Orchid which was really good…I like Stuart Woods very much.Then I just finished James Patterson’s 5th Horseman which was super…It got tossed in there late as it didn’t come with the first batch of books that I ordered. I am working on Double Tap now…Steve Martini…slow going at first…but is picking up..
Sad news, Don Knotts died and just when I thought I was ok with that….Darren mcGavin died…oh man… I loved him….remember him as a kid when he played in “Man With the Golden Arm.”….but most will remember him as the grumpy Dad in “A Christmas Story”..which is my favorite Christmas movie..But when I developed my huge crush on him was when he played Kolchak:The Night Stalker……I loved that show…it didn’t run long enought to suit me..
All these people dying like they are is tough on me..they are my generations ‘old hollywood’….All my favorite actors, singers and comedians are going on to the other side…makes me feel sooo old…sometimes that 62 feels like 82…..At least these two lived to a good ripe age….no dying young for them..thank the Goddess…
Man…if this isn’t a grab a book, a cup of tea, turn on the radio to oldies but goodies station, then I don’t know what it is…It’s still raining..them lying sonsabitches..weather men…worse than husbands for all the misrepresentations they give out…its’s still raining ya schmuck’s…oh well, I know I didn’t want to do laundry any how… I still have clean underwear, 3 tattered tshirts and a pair of blue jeans. I can make it till Monday…because thanks to Babs I know have something to do on the sundays since there is no more football…………………NASCAR….I have to admit, I’m still not hooked, but I have started to read about it in the newspaper….and the more I read the more I can connect to it…kinda..sorta…well, I am at least trying. I did find it interesting that one driver got banned for life for flunking the dope test for the 3rd time…I am not happy about another sport having to deal with drug problems..but sure do like that they do something about it…I mean ….how many chances are you supposed to get…? and with football if your doing drugs……what…? some one whacks the shit out of you cause your stoned out of your noggin? basketball, you drop to the floor cause your heart is on the outside of your chest from the coke you snorted before the game? but damn..racing a car around a track with 40 something other cars going 140 miles an hour…damn….lots of deaths there..so glad to see they said..no your out of here and you ain’t coming back no more, no more…hit the road jack…
yup…it’s still raining…
Rocky found all the thunder last night a little disturbing and slept on top of my head..everytime it would thunder he would reach around and pat me on the cheek…sweet kitty….
I’m still eating the stew I made..and the longer it sits and ‘stews’..the hotter it gets..damn it’s good…did anyone check out Denise’s pot roast recipe? pretty good…but no chili in it…hell, I put chili in my oatmeal…
well, im going to go check out some new blog sites I found…one is fugetaboutit!!!
and i really do like it..and oldenough..and muhammad and me, you had me at idiot, and normy’s corner of the universe..I like blogs that make me laugh, or make me think..or if I’m really lucky..both…..see ya’ll…
fuckme till lightning shoots out my ass.
In answer to all questions…Jimmy Crack Corn is not a song about farting..that was just what came out of a hot sweaty Texas night in Sunnyvale, Texas with the kids bored silly and mischief in their hearts. Bright Yellow Gun asked if all southern kids had to have two names and I said no….but most of us did…but like my cousins that were called only by their first name were also called by both their names when they were in trouble…so Terry became Terry lee when he pushed my doll buggy into a tree,and he also became suddenly punched in the stomach by Jackiesue right after. While I was telling BYG this,it dawned on me..THAT may have been the reason that Michael Ray, Larry Wayne and Jackiesue were called by both of our names…because we were always in trouble…huh….and we were too…My grandmother used to whip them with those wire fly swatters…she would wail on Larry Wayne and Michael Ray…I on the other hand was never whipped….My mother would have jerked Big Mama a new ass if she or anyone tried to whip me….I was NOT to be whipped, no matter the offense..I was to be led by the arm to mother and she would dole out what ever punishment she deemed necessary, which was usually a stern talking to and a threat to tell Daddy..that would shape me up very fast..I would be good ….just don’t tell Daddy…not that Daddy ever whipped me or yelled or even punished me…it was THE LOOK. The look of pain, hurt and disappointment. Man, I would do anything not to get THE LOOK.. He also had another look, one that if I was being a little jerk and he caught me in the act…would give me THAT LOOK ..and it would freeze the blood in your veins and stop your heart…My parents never whipped me..but I always knew that there was a distinct possiblity that if I pushed them far enough..they wouldn’t whip me but would kill me…so I never pushed the envelope.somethings you just know..
Growing up for the longest time it was just the 3 of us…we were older than all the other cousins by 4-5 years….then came Michael Ray’s baby sister………….DIANE… the cutest damn kid you ever saw….and we hated her….well, we loved her..you had to love her..she was so damn cute…but she stole all our action….we not only had to take her everywhere and keep an eye out on her, she got everything first..first drink of kool-aid, first candy, first dime for ice cream….oh God we hated her…but we did admire her ablilty to get the main amount of attention…so we thought of many many different ways to cause her as much harm as possible with out actually drawing blood. In my Aunt Estelle’s house you could make a circle in the house…go from bedroom to bath room to bed room to kitchen to dining room to living room to bedroom….so we put her (as we called her) Di….Ann…(two words)in the middle of the bed in the first bedroom and then start running through all of the rooms and make it right back to the bed before she crawled to the edge of bed and fell off…some times…we didnt make it….and would catch her by her wet soggy diaper…giving her the thrill of her life…she thought that was so much fun…so did we…of course sometimes she hit the floor, but we would gather her up and hug and kiss on her and she would laugh and forgive us…not knowing it was us that caused her to be hurt in the first place….Aunt Leola was the one that caught on to our little game and put a stop to that fast..She was always the one that kept us from killing each other…not with yells, screams or panic…she never lost it…she would just say things like’you know you’re going to kill that child don’t you?’…and we would shuffle our feet, look at the sky, ground, each other and say “yes, mamm.”..and she would say “quitit”….and we would say “yes, mamm”…….I often wonder how we all made it with out someone getting hurt really bad, or our mothers going nuts and locking us up in a room till we were 30..
like Michael Ray always said ya’ll ain’t nothing but a bunch of A-holes…..
I was reading the blogs that I read everyday and stumbled across jdaris’s blog on jumbled thoughts and one was about jimmy cracked corn and not caring..which reminded me of my cousins..Michael Ray and Larry Wayne and me (Jackisue)out on the porch at Mike’s house one hot Texas summer…Summer time Daddy would bring me up from where ever we lived and all of us kids would just bouce from aunts house to grandma’s to another aunts house…so we are sitting on the porch and its probably about 10pm at night and hotter than the inner ring of hell…we are all in our underwear..I had no boobies then and at that time in history…little girls running around with no tshirt was a normal part of life..so we are playing war, or go fish, or old maid..some card game ..and it didn’t matter what game we played we all cheated and tried to out best the other two…so we’re sitting in the hot Texas night, playing cards and singing silly songs..and all of a sudden Michael Ray starts to sing Jimmy Cracked Corn….and I don’t care..and we joined in and we’re singing along and cheating and sweating and Michael Ray pops his ass in the air and lets one go, loud and stinky and sings in falsetto “Michael cracked corn and we don’t care”…..well, my God, you would have thought that was the funniest thing in the world..we fell out on the porch laughing and laughing. So then we go back to the card game and for a least an hour we sat there playing cards, sweating and farting while singing “Jackiesue Cracked corn”…leg up…fart….. laugh hysterically… Michael Ray
cracked corn..lift leg..fart..laugh hyserically….Larry Wayne cracked corn…leg up…fart…..and we laughed all night long..Big Mama(our granmother) finally came out and told us to quit that farting and singing which sent us into gales of laughter…I think that is one of the few times when two of us was not in the process of killing the other one. We just were three hot sweaty farting cousins….or as Michael Ray always called us….’just a buncha A_holes’..
First of all I finished another book and half way thru another one…Read Case of Lies by Perri O’Shaughnessy, and if I thought the other book was loaded down on facts about dna, this one is stuffed to the fucking gills with info on math,the Riemann Hypthesis, Cramers model, Sarnak, Wiles, and Bump. It is like a foreign language…There were pages and pages of shit on shit…..I could give a roaring rats ass….Peri O’Shaughnessy is a writing team of two sisters and usually I love their books, and this one was a good book but there was more info on calculus that I ever ever ever wanted to know…I didn’t like math when I was a kid, and like it even less now…so reading about it in a mystery book was enough to make me want to stab someone in the eye with a sharp #2 pencil. Fuckme till x+y = 69.
Reading Iron Orchard by Stuart Woods and half way through it and not one damn math reference…thank the Goddess. I really like this one….okay..now to the haps in West.
Good news ….the trade days activities will not be lost to West, even though we lost the space(supposed to have been bought by Dollar General, but Robert(long time friend, and old drinking buddy) who is the manager of the Dollar General said they didn’t buy it..so wtf???? anyhow we will have the trade days somewhere.
The Catholic Daughters of the Americas Sacred Heart Court 829 are planning a Fat Tuesday luncheon, Feb. 28 at the Lone Star Hall here in West. There is a great picture of 4 ladies in these great feather masks holding up trays of food.
West only had one engagement and one death but we had 3 births…now we are starting to catch up…and two of the babies born weighed over 8 lbs. each…and 3rd was almost 8 lbs…Nice healthy babies….2 boys and one girl…Andrew William Owen, Brendan Joseph Smith and Ashley Marie Withers.
St. Martin’s in Tours is throwing a “fun day” to raise money for religious education program. the Nativity of the BVM Catholic church Parish Hall in Penelope, Texas is having a fried chicken dinner and polka dance on the 26th of Feb. Kaluza/Vanek Combo is playing.
K. B.’s Leroy Tavern is advertising their “The Leroy Mug” for $2..and happy hour from 6-8 Monday-Friday..(the rest of the time you have to get happy on your own time.)
The Wayward Sons are playing At Mynar’s Bar. This bar has been open for ever…I used to go in there and play domino’s and drink beer with the old farts..I was about 40 and skinny with big tits and I could beat them all the time cause they were so busy looking at my tits….now that I think of it… I may not have been near as good at pool as I thought, they were probably just looking at my tits too…….damn….
The grandaughters Mom has her picture in the paper. She is the historian for the West Chamber of Commerce.
The boys Trojans defeated Little Elm 68-47 in Bi-District….They play Iowa Park Hawks this Friday ..The Lady Trojans won first place in weight lifting…so did the boys…good ole beef fed farm kids.
I get a kick out of the way the grocery stores list their food for sale in the ads…in a row for sale are: soda pop, chips, beer and pizza.
There is a hog hound for sale..Lab mix. Exceptionally happy, good natured and alert.Things you really want in a hog hunter…..da da da du da da da du….ohhhh hog…..wheeeeeee….hahahahahahahahh…
House on Washington street(nice neighbor hood) 1 bd/1 bath..ch/ac on 2 lots for $49,000.great starter home…
Looks like I’m not the only one pissed about the new 4-way stop signs..Jeanette Karlik who wirtes the Thanks for Listening(shouldn’t that be thanks for reading?) wrote this week about how upset(she gets upset…I on the other hand get pissed) about the new 4-way stop signs…and what makes me pissed(her upset) is that where they used to have yield signs they put up stop signs……kiss my ass….oh well….progress I suppose……
Will close with the best news of all….Hattie Hubik celebrated her 100 birthday at the nursing home in Hillsboro along with her kids, grandkids, great grandkids, and great great grandkids….way to go Hattie……and that was the week that was….in West, Texas.
St. Francis of Assissi said:”Lord make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow Love. Where there is injury, Pardon. Where there is error, Truth.Where this is discord, Harmony. Where there is doubt, Faith. Where there is dispair, Hope. Where there is darkness, Light. Where there is sorrow, Joy.”
The Goddess Jackie of West says: “Great Mother of us all, make me an instrument of retribution. Where there is hatred, let me sow some attitude adjustments administrated with thy 2×4. Where there is injury, a kiss on their forhead and a kick in their ass. Where there is error, allow me to set them straight with thy mighty bip. Where there is discord, let me be the bringer of hard knocks upon their ass. Where there is doubt, oh Goddess, let me show them the way to the truth. Where there is dispair, let me show them the door and a slight shove. Where there is darkness, let me lead them to the light, kicking and screaming. Where there is sorrow….there is Dr.Pepper and Blue Bell…..”