…….LIVE TILL I’M 90…….

I read an article in the DAM NEWS that women are expected to live into their 90’s….damn! Kill me now.I’m almost 63 and I’m fuckennear wore out.What will I be like if I live to be 90? I try to get a mental picture of me at 90 but all I can see is an older version of me…really really pissed…Now let me tell you, I am in no hurry to croak…and if and when you do hear that I am croaked…know that I did not go gently into the good night…But I know living until im 90 and not being in good mental health is enough to make me start taking better care of myself…What would be worse than to live to be 90 and not know where you are, who you are or what’s up? I can see me in the West Rest Home waving my cane around and swearing about Forest Gump…hmm that rhymed..There may be a song in there someplace..Hopefully I will out live Forest and can spit on his grave…I am trying to think of some good reasons to be glad that I will live to be 90 and other than having longer time to fuck with people…not much..Men are supposed to live until they are in their 80’s…Great! younger men…
With global warming the way it is,I will probably be sitting on a rock in the middle of Texas surrounded by water and ice with the temperture at 137degrees..maybe the Cowboys will have won the Super Bowl again by then….
fuckme till Im old and gray(ooops..already am)

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18 Responses to “…….LIVE TILL I’M 90…….”

  1. Danno Says:

    Sung to the tune of THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS:

    Well I’m tooling round the West Rest Home…..
    ..and I just turned 93.

    My brain has new omputer chips……so I’m just a surfin me.

    How did I get inside this dump?
    Dang nab! I gots to pee.

    I know I hate old Forest Gump!!
    ..but who the hell is he?….

    You can have uthers add verses!!!

  2. Danno Says:

    “c”omputer chips…damn I type like hell

  3. Super Woman Says:

    Damnit, I hate the idea of being 90 and senile. I’d tell my husband to kill me at the first sign of senility, but I’d be taking my life in my hands at the age of 26.

  4. Junebugg Says:

    Damn it, if I live to 90, then I’ll never be able to retire! SSI will be broke, my sorry son ain’t gonna support himself, much less me. I’m gonning tohve to work forever! DAMN IT ALL! Can I have a beer and a smoke. Might as well enjoy the time I’ve got left. If I’d known this shit, I would have never quit smoking.

  5. Autumn Says:

    Both my grandma’s lived into there 90’s. One was getting forgetful, but the other one was still smart as a whip. I hope to I live to be a hundred, IF I can keep my mind and my body is at lest able to get up out of a chair so I don’t pee on myself.

  6. leo myshkin Says:

    yup, i wanna live to be 90 just to see what happens with the global warming.

    by the time i’m 90 joan rivers might look like a teenager and who the hell knows what color michael jackson will be.

  7. princeofbrokenhearts Says:

    well, look at it this way, at ninety, you can say things like ‘when i was young, none of this shit was here. there was nothing… even i wasn’t here’

    fake senility at the end of your story… it will make people wonder…

    and hey, you can give people the finger, and there is not much they can do if you fake senility…

    of course, alzimers probably would not be all bad… you would get to meet new people every day…

  8. apositivepessimist Says:

    the LFB once asked me if i would look after him when he is seventy odd…i said it depends how much fun i will get out of yer senility. if it’s not fun i’m packing him off to a home because going by that stat i still may have another twenty years be fucked if i’m looking after some drooling, poo-panted old bloke. NOW, if it’s the other way around he has to suffer and look after me. i have it written in his blood 😉

  9. PJ Says:

    I am already mind farted and pushing 60. I sure don’t and won’t be here at 90, I know that. The whole world is truly going to hell in a hand basket and I want to float on out of here way before then. In fact I can go anytime now, I am ready. This place is boring me to death so I guess it won’t be long.

  10. Nit Wit Says:

    If I live to be 90 that means 40 more years. My sons will be older than I am now and if they act anything like I do now I don’t want to be around them.
    Of course I am male so I guess the stress of living with women will kill me 10 years earlier. 🙂

  11. Scottish Toodler Says:

    We will all have to move to Canada and Iceland where it will be like Arizona is now. You will be our leader in the Mad Max/Soylent Green/Omega Man “new” world…

  12. Sam Says:

    90?! Could never imagine myself at that age, probably because i will never reach it. I have this thought on age. I relate it to stars. There are some stars that are absoloutely HUGE, but die younger, and some that are tiny, but last for a longer time, the death of a small star is only minor, but the death of a big star is explosive, and leaves supernovas, make pulsars and black holes. And will not be forgotten, and will create other stars with the gas from the explosion. I’m losing sense now!

  13. Nancy Says:

    Our hospital is across the street from a nursing home and trust me 90 is not pretty. We get all of their clients and it is very sad what the hospital will do to keep these people alive because they have out lived their entire family and nobody did a will. DNR. You need to be clear you want DNR.

  14. michele Says:

    I have to admit i’m not crazy about turning 90,but if it happens
    i want to be a cool 90year old.
    Still wearing sun glasses,listening
    to led zeppelin and drinking wine.
    Running around with 60 year old
    men.

  15. TheHamburger Says:

    I dig the top photo and all the cursing. Rock the fuck on!

  16. Jack the Blogger Says:

    Mrs. JaxBlog always tells me that I’m gonna be the stereotypical old man, sitting on the porch and cussing at kids to get off the grass.

    *sigh* … I can only hope…

    😉

  17. Joshua Says:

    I want to at least live to see December 21, 2012, also known as the “End of the Mayan Calendar” and some say “the end of the world.” After that, well… I guess it depends on how long I can maintain control of my excretory system.

  18. Rocky (Racquel) Says:

    Shit, Jackiesue, I spent many of my 20-something years not knowing where I was, who I was or what was up. It wasn’t too bad but the hangovers were killer! 😉

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