…….PANIC ATTACK…….

I was up and at’em early this moring to have my lunch with Wayne at Poppa Rollo’s pizza…and all of the sudden the thought of getting in my truck and getting on I-35 threw me into a tail spin..I just couldn’t face the traffic and the people….Had nothing to do with Squiggly and the lunch..was looking forward to it and if he had come to West for the lunch everything would have been hunky dory…but the traffic and being around all those people I didn’t know freaked me out…freaked me out being freaked out…I have gone to Waco before, to Wal-Mart, to Dr.’s..to what ever..but today for some reason it was a no go…so called Squiggly up and made up a lie, felt bad, but easier to lie than to say, ‘hey, the idea of driving on I-35 with all those people made me have a panic attack’..well, not something I was ready to admit…sooo I’m telling you all..ha…
To make me feel more normal I made a point to go out among the living here in West..went to Dollar store and Robert gave me a small box of books, then I went to the library and checked out a bunch of books….then Henrietta reminded me it was the library’s book sale..so I went back and bought $21.75 worth of books…some I will be able to sell on E-Bay..bought :1. Scream Queens, a book on horror movie females..cool..2. Heroes of the Silver Screen, 3.Truman by David McCullough, 4.Bushworld by Maureen Dowd, 5. Roosevelts by Peter Collier and David Horowitz, 6. The Wisdom of China and India,edited by Lin Yutang, 7. The Omega Code, 8.Still Me by Christopher Reeve, 9. The Complete Poetical Works of John Milton by Harris Francis Fletcher, 10. A Friendship, The letters of Dan Rowan and John D. MacDonald 1967-1974…
plus a bunch of paper back books and a quality paper book called Cowboy Log, its a real book by a real cowboy..can’t find it so must have left it in the truck..damn…
I love buying books…I love the feel of books, the smell of books, the comfort of owning books…I love books…getting a book that I have been wanting to read, by one of my favorite authors is better than sex..well, hell what do I know about sex..been so long it’s just a faded memory in my underwear drawer..
When I was driving around West I saw things in my little town that I felt you should know about..like driving down the street and seeing a momma and a 3 years old pulling a red wagon with a baby about a year old in it..laughing and waving his arms..momma had the 3 year old on a leash along with a puppy on a leash…looked so Norman Rockwall. Then I saw a Daddy on a bike with one of those little kiddy bike seats on it with a kid in it..they both looked very pleased with themselves…I left the library and drove by the ball park and there were games going on in all of the fields..(4)…and could hear the crowd yelling encouragement to the players..and listening to the announcer calling the game…on the way back I got stopped by the train and sat there listening to my oldies and goodies station..rocking and a bopping in my little truck while the train went clickity clackity on by…Nearly every truck, car, suv, van that passed me I waved at and they waved back..some waved first..that’s what we do in West..Passed the Fire Station and bunch of volunteers were outside bbqing and drinking soda pop….they all waved at me and I waved back…On my first trip to the library I ran into a friend and his wife who showed me their new 3 week old baby girl…she is absolutely beautiful and smelled like heaven….oh lord..that new baby smell…johnson’s powder and lotion..When I pulled into the little alley- way to go to the house I could hear the clink of horse shoes coming from my neighbors yard..there were about 12 of them..drinking beer, cooking outside and playing horse shoes..they all waved..and I waved back…Rocky was sitting on the porch waiting for me..highly pissed as I was gone and didn’t tell him where I was going and how long I was going to be gone..bastid…
So even though I didn’t go to Waco and have lunch with a friend…I still managed to have a good time in West…by Goddess, Texas…life is good here…..

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5 Responses to “…….PANIC ATTACK…….”

  1. Babs Says:

    Ughh… panic attacks suck. Bummer about that, but I understand the feeling.

    I’ve been under attack from the marshmallow man. Damn lexapro.

  2. Nit Wit Says:

    Maybe it was the Goddess saving you from the crazy drivers. You know like a premonition. Then again it might be like me I hate the big city so much I want to move out into the woods every time I get back. I just can’t understand the attraction people have to living packed together to the point that everything is a hassle because there are always too many people.

  3. apositivepessimist Says:

    eh it’ll [waco] still be there another day aye js.

    ahh i got a great whiff of a baby tonight. my not yet one year old niece. daaamn they smell so good don’t they. could just eat ’em up 🙂

    you did indeed sound like you had a tops day anyway huh. nice.

  4. BriteYellowGun Says:

    I think it’s a law here in NC that you have to wave at everyone driving past you in the opposite direction. It gets tiresome after a while though.

  5. Jack the Blogger Says:

    Man – you are one VORACIOUS reader! Good for you! Wish I had the time. I love to read, but usually only get a chapter or two in at bedtime.

    Hey — I was in a Walmart in Waco during our trip! Wonder if it’s the same one? I can understand your panic attack; I didn’t much care for driving on the 35, either!

    Baby smell! I miss it. But not enough to have another one. I’ll wait for the grandbabies! 😉

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