Ok, someone explain to me why I didn’t get my paper, again?…ok, I really know why and have had lengthy phone calls with various people in different departments about this matter.. (I can just see them when I call. “you talk to her..no I talked to her last time..you talk to her…nuh uh…she called me a dickhead the last time I talked to her,you talk to her..)See, the deal is…they got tired (Dallas Morning News people) of readers bitching because they didn’t get the scores from the late games and because of that they decided to put out a later edition sort of a midmorning news as apposed to a morning news..so here’s the tricky part..for those in the Dallas area it isn’t that big of a deal..but for us folk out of the Dallas disctrict it’s becoming a pain in the fucking ass…as the trucks carrying the paper from Dallas get here later and lot of the drivers have other jobs and have to be fininished by a certain time…now…the deal is…there are 2 trucks..one carrying the Dallas paper for retail stores and one truck for the home deliveries…for some reason the ones going to the retail stores get delivered..mine don’t..fuckers..so my delivery guy knows when the paper didn’t show this am, he was going to get a phone call from me so to be a nice guy, he gives me a Waco paper with a little note saying..”no Dallas paper”….now I want you to know that Gus K. the delivery boy(in his late 60’s) is the nicest guy you would ever want to meet and his intentions are good…how is he to know that I hate the fucking Waco paper..full of rightwing, bush’s asskissing, evangelical Christian republican bullshit….so I ain’t exactly a happy camper knowing there is no DAM NEWS and then to help push me over the edge…I get the fucking Waco paper…I try to make the best of a bad situation…will read the Waco paper….ok…not much on front page..turn the page and at the bottom on the left hand paper is a column by none other than Ann Coulterthecuntfromhell..I screamed fuck so loud my radio alarm clock stopped …it will be stopped on 9:37am for fucking ever..Now you have to also know that I have made many phone calls to the big D bitching about this ……I ended up talking to a guy named Bill M…who is vice president of whatever…he is so sweet…so Friday he is going on his vacation…and CALLS ME FROM HIS CAR ON HIS PERSONAL CELL PHONE to tell me he has people looking into it and someone should be calling me back…and if I need to I can call him on his cell phone (during his vacation)..said..no way…get out of town and don’t look back..but he gave me his work phone number and another name for me to get in touch with …so today I got to make Mike M’s life fun and exciting…remember these people I have been talking to are not even in circulation…so I got the same message from Mike as I got from Bill and I await the phone call…all this over a newspaper…but not just any news paper…it’s my fucking newspaper…People wonder how I get so many people calling back and working to settle my problem…I make them laugh..I am bitching like a motherfucker, but I am making them laugh…I also know that somewhere in the back of their mind they are going :”who the fuck can I get to take her phone call the next time?” ahhh life is good..if life gives you lemons..make lemonade with no sugar and serve it back to them… This joke is for you babs…”survey taker:’ok, Babs when filling out this survey…which race do you most closely identify yourself with?’ long pause………………..Babs:”NASCAR”……


15 Responses to “…….DAM NEWS AND OTHER STUFF…….”

  1. Nit Wit Says:

    I would have said the human race.
    The damn news just forgot that there were still people living outside the metro area.
    The avatar is me after a shave and a haircut. 🙂

  2. PJ Says:

    Ha. Babs and race. Cute.

    If I had that much trouble getting my newspaper I would be making a personal in person trip to the newspaper offices. From there they would never let my paper be late again …..

    OK OK so your Dr. Pepper is better than ours. Brag Brag Brag. You Texans!

  3. Nancy Says:

    I had a man come up to me and say right to my face “Honey you weren’t built for speed, you were built for comfort.” So I can’t be in the race.

  4. Aurelius Says:

    ‘Bitching like a motherfucker, but I make ’em laugh’, what a great line.

    BTW Nancy, I’m pretty sure that line comes from a Muddy Waters tune:

    ‘I’m built for comfort baby, I ain’t built for speed. But I got every little thing baby, that a good girl needs. . .’

    He was probably trying to be suave, he just was a dumbass and fucked it up.

  5. apositivepessimist Says:

    whoa. his personal cell.

    i reckon he might want a piece of granny…*pervy grin*

  6. Mama Kelly Says:

    i had a “habby bunny” postcard at work still someone stole it (F***ers)

    if life gives you lemons
    squirt juice in your enemies’ eyes


  7. Mama Kelly Says:

    and that’s happy bunny — I cant type when I have a bandaid on, sorry

  8. Mama Kelly Says:

    and that’s happy bunny — I cant type when I have a bandaid on, sorry

  9. Babs Says:

    Silly woman, there would be no long pause!!! I’m going to mention you in the next post I do, so look out!

  10. BriteYellowGun Says:

    LOL over the alarm clock! I don’t blame you though. Here, the media for the most part is controlled by right wing Christian/Pro Bush zealots as well. The one 10 p.m. news broadcast that I used to watch was so pro-Republican and biased that my mother absolutely refused to watch it when she visited. They even had a feature called “Stories of Faith” pushing their religious agenda…like this was NEWS!!!!! Happy to report, that broadcast went off the air!! But even with what’s left, you always can pick up on the liberal bashing and republican sympathy slant. Ugh! No wonder this country is so fucked up.

  11. Clance' McClannahan Says:

    I had some serious issues with not getting my paper a couple years ago. They gave me excuse after excuse and lots of apologys I finally got pissed and cancelled it. Acouple days after I cancelled it, I had to go to work really early. I saw something out my window. Looked to see what it was and it was my freaking neighbor, looking all over for my paper. I nailed him on the spot and called the cops, they (rolling their eyes)came and talked to him. Then I talked to him and said Hey if you can’t afford the paper you should have just asked for it when I was done with it. I would have given it to you. We ended up splitting the cost of the subscription….
    If I were a race I would probably be ‘Dega. Zoom…Crash…bump…get out of my way. I am running late.

  12. Reg Says:

    LOL! I wait on people like you. We servers stand in the kitchen and haggle over who will wait on them. “I waited on them last time.” “No, I did and they stiffed me.” Really it just boils down to which server intimidates the hosts the most. Those servers who have instilled the fear of God in them (namely me) aren’t sat “those” people!!! 🙂

  13. Le Pixie Says:

    Why is it that the dumb small town redneck people are so into that evangelical bush loving bullshit. Why are there so many stupid people in this country?

  14. Babs Says:

    Did someone say NASCAR? Where’s my rain??

  15. Reg Says:

    I know you’re a good tipper YDG. I meant that I totally understand the people arguing over who will talk to you! 🙂

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